New Beginnings
by Temajin
Summary: Bella's job is put on hold and she is forced to take leave. Her friends Alice and Rosalie are in the same boat. Rather than mope around at home the girls decide to go to Bali. She meets Edward and they bond quickly, she learns though that not only is he a gentleman but he also has a devastating past and it becomes evident that she is the only one who can free his tortured soul.
1. Chapter 1 - Change

New Beginnings

**Chapter 1.**

**Change**.

Change is not always an easy thing to handle, being forced into it is even harder and with me at least I always need someone to push me into doing what needs to be done. I'd been working in admin for four years, I hardly ever took a sick day, I had become a workaholic and I was burning out. Sometimes there's no explanation for how and when things happen but when they do be it good or bad I had to believe was for a reason.

We'd gotten to work early Monday morning; by 'We' I mean my two best friends and workmates Alice and Rosalie and were called straight into the boardroom for a staff meeting. Cheryl, our boss, had sent out for coffee before our arrival and had them placed on the table ready for when we sat down, there was a piece of white chocolate next to mine, something was going down and she was buttering me up for it, she knew it was my Achilles and also knew I didn't take bad work related news well.

The others however reveled in new things and loved staff meetings because it usually meant change. There were 8 staff to our tight knit team, Alice, Rosalie, me, Angela and Jessica, we also had 3 guys who worked in I.T Eric, Mike and Jacob although Eric and Mike worked mostly out of our corporate office in the city, Jake was the only fulltime I.T worker at our site. I remained rigid and sat defensively on the edge of the chair and once everyone had taken their seats Cheryl asked briefly about our weekends but for the most part spared us the pleasantries and got straight to the point.

"I have some bad news, I received an email from head office yesterday afternoon, you're not going to like this but the company is shutting down our site for a month while they look for new premises, you all remember last month when the pest inspector came around and he conducted the audit on the building, well it seems the owner of the building hasn't been conducting them for the last 5 years and the building is riddled with white ants. Eewww was my first thought, Eeww was Jess's first word and Jake spat out "Holey shit so the whole building could collapse at any time?" "Yes, Jacob I'm as shocked as you are, today will be our last day here everyone, they won't let us stay here any longer, make sure you take all of your personal belongings home with you today and grab an archive box and put all of your work items in there, the boxes will be picked up and taken to head office and given back to you when we're in our new place. There will be no normal work today and I want to be out of here by midday, we'll need everyone's help in packing" explained Cheryl

Everyone was elated but me and she could tell I had more to say, "Cheryl, so does this mean we're all forced to take leave? I know I have enough but I don't want to take leave, isn't there work I could do in corporate during the month" everyone just looked at me like I had grown two heads "Bella, honey you're looking at this all wrong, this is a blessing in disguise especially for you, as Bella has pointed out you're all going to have to take leave, I'm not sensing anyone else's adversity to this so I'll give you some good news, the company wanted me to pass on that they recognize this is an inconvenience to us all, I know some of you have been trying to save up your leave for the holiday season and management apologizes that you have to use it now, to make up for it the company would like to offer you all a bonus, you've all put in such a great effort this year and our company is grateful"

I had sat there for a good 60 seconds unable to move while I contemplated this news, fat lot of good it would be to try and convince my boss to find me a placement in head office, she was following orders from higher up, and there would be no point in trying to negotiate with Cheryl anyway, we got on extremely well, we had become friends even but ultimately she was still my boss, what was wrong with me? A normal person would be ecstatic, the others were, maybe I had a screw loose.

Cheryl knew me very well and came up to stand behind me, she placed one hand on my shoulder and reached in front of me pulling the piece of chocolate towards me, she had a grin on her face knowing that this would be my undoing and moved away when I reached out for it, she patted my shoulder once and began walking out "Ok meetings over, c'mon people let's start packing" she said as she entered back into her office.

Alice and Rosalie had been in deep discussion, Alice looked up and grabbed my hand and pulled me from my thoughts. "Bella smile or I'll make you go shopping with us" I couldn't help but smile at her weak threat "She'll come around" said Rose "Just wait until we're poolside and surrounded by shirtless hotties, then she'll smile" "What? Poolside? What are you talking about?" I asked

"We've made a decision, we're taking you to Bali!" exclaimed Rosalie "Don't I have any say in this?" I said trying to play the victim "No, you don't, plus I know you love to travel" said Alice "Hhm, might be ok, I guess, if you're into heat" I said trying to sound like I didn't care "Oh you LOVE the heat, I know there's a she-devil inside of you just itching to claw it's way out" she said laughing, I had to agree, I always knew there was a different side to myself which never got to see the light of day, I'd suppressed it for so long I wasn't sure if it really existed anymore, this may just be the escape my mind and body needed, I loved my friends enough to play along nicely and I resisted the urge to pout. "To new beginnings" I said and lifted my coffee, Rose and Alice were thrilled at my enthusiasm; I gave myself a silent pat on the back, number one friend, that's me.

We left the office just before midday and I couldn't help but feel a bit sad knowing that I would never reenter this building again. We got home and Alice and Rose began booking flights while I made dinner. The next day I was pulled along to the mall to shop for swimwear and was tortured into having my legs waxed, I didn't really mind I hated shaving but it hurt like a MoFo, my bikini area was a different story, this I chose to have done as a necessity, backward I know, but that was me. We got home and began packing; the girls wasted no time and had booked fights for the next day. The next two weeks were going to be very interesting.


	2. Chapter 2: One week at a time

**Chapter 2.**

**One week at a time**

The flight wasn't long, only about 5 hours and when we landed the heat hit me like a brick wall, it was just after 1pm and it didn't take long before we got a ride and arrived at the hotel. I then longed for the pool. We checked in and the concierge had the bellhop load our bags onto a trolley and we followed him towards the outdoor elevator that would take us to the third level of the 5-story hotel. We continued to follow the man out of the lift and down the walkway that over looked the pool towards our room.

We heard music coming from our neighbors room and Alice and Rose were bouncing with excitement knowing that whatever was happening next door we would soon be apart of, they weren't shy in introducing themselves to new people especially if it meant a party, I followed behind taking in the view of the beach I could now see from this height and it was captivating.

I didn't realize I'd stopped walking until Alice called me over to come inside, when I started walking to the room again I looked next door towards where the music was coming from and my eyes were met with the most gorgeous face on a man I'd ever seen. "Beautiful isn't it" He said in a velvety smooth voice "Yeah it is" I said taking another look at the view "Hi, I'm Edward Cullen" he said and outstretched his hand "Bella Swan" I said as our hands met "Nice to meet you Bella, we're having some drinks if you and you're friends want to come over" "We'll be there in 10 minutes" bellowed Rosalie from inside the room, she didn't miss a thing, Edward and I laughed "Ok then thanks I guess we'll see you in a bit" I said and entered the room. "Didn't take you long Bella, I'm proud of you" Joked Rose as she started unpacking her suitcase "You know me, eager beaver" I said as I wheeled my suitcase into my room.

The suite had 3 bedrooms and was tilled throughout, the aircon was blasting beautiful chilled air and I wondered for a second if I wanted to stay inside and let the others go next door but the vision of Edward's face was too compelling. I changed into my black bikini and put on a pair of off white shorts and a black singlet top, I brushed my teeth and my hair and it felt so good, I sprayed my favorite perfume and walked back out to the living room. Alice and Rose were already outside so I opened the sliding glass door and went next door.

"Bella" Said Edward as he saw me approach "Hi again" "Bella these are my brothers Jasper and Emmett" he said "Hi, nice to meet you" I said "Hi Bella, you're so polite I would have said 'Hi, where's the beer' "Said Emmett, I instantly liked him, he was tall and very built and couldn't take his eyes off of Rose, not that she minded, Jasper was also tall but lean with dark blonde hair and a southern draw, he emanated a strange vibe, not creepy or anything but I couldn't put my finger on it, I felt at instant ease around him and so it seemed did Alice, like Rose and Emmett these two had hit it off immediately. That left Edward and I, being a bit shy and slightly self-conscious I fidgeted with my hands trying to think of what to say in the awkward moments after our introductions, Edward could sense it and he too seemed to feel the same. I decided I needed a drink "How about that beer" I said and he chuckled, I was proud of myself for taking the first step, it wasn't something I normally did, this holiday was messing with me.


	3. Chapter 3 - Expert Seducer

**Chapter 3.**

**Expert Seducer**

Edward and I sat by the railing and watched the sun setting out over the ocean while the others talked animatedly with each other. Conversation flowed pretty easily between Edward and I and we spoke of our jobs and where we were from. Edward was originally from Chicago but his family had moved to Forks in Washington a few years back, his brothers had treated him to this holiday because he was just about to start Med School "Are you from New Zealand or Australia? I can never pick those accents correctly" He asked, "I'm Australian" I explained and began telling him about my hometown on the Gold Coast.

I told Edward I was getting hungry and he was too so he called and ordered some food. The others were already too far gone to have made that call. I imagined that this is how each night would end and if the looks the girls were getting from the boys were any indication I also new there would be nights I'd be spending alone in the room, but then I guessed so would Edward.

I didn't want to start presuming anything but I wasn't prude enough to dismiss anything either, I had a growing feeling the more time I spend with Edward the less chance those nights would be spent alone. Maybe it was the mixture of heat, hunger and exhaustion taking over my thoughts, I'd never been so quickly willing to give over to my carnal instincts as I was just thinking about being totally alone with a man I'd just met.

As the hours past Edward and I began to realize that the drunker the others got the more excluded we were becoming, it turned out Edward wasn't much of a drinker and this was good news because neither was I and the 3 beers I'd drunk had made me more tired than I already was, I'd made the mistake many times in trying to keep up with Alice and Rose only to spend the rest of those nights cuddling the porcelain, I was not going to do that to myself here "Would you like to go for a swim" He asked "Yeah, that sounds nice" I replied "Stay here I'll be back in a few minutes" he said and I took that as a good opportunity to quickly go and freshen up. When I came back he was waiting for me and had two towels draped over his arm. He wore black board shorts and a light grey V neck tee shirt which showed off a slight coverage of chest hair. We started for the elevator and as we waited for it to reach us I said "I wonder how long it will take anyone to register that we're not there" "Ha, I doubt they'll even notice we're gone" he said lightheartedly

It was past 10pm and the pool at our hotel was closed "Damn, that sucks" I said "It's ok I know where we can go" He said with a mischievous smile and I followed him out of the hotel lobby and onto the bustling street beside the beach. Edward had told me earlier that he and his brothers had been to Bali many times and were very familiar with the locals and knew all the best places to go. As we began to walk he lent down and took my hand, the ground was very uneven and I supposed he was just trying to ensure I didn't fall over, I was thankful, his skin was warm against my cold hand and he noticed immediately, he placed his other hand on top and gently rubbed the top of my knuckles "Cold hands, Warm heart Bella" he said and flashed a dazzling smile "Yeah, my mum use to say that about me" I said "She's right" he said and we moved on.

We stopped outside the entrance of another hotel, it's pool area was situated between us and it's main building there was a guard at the gate which Edward seemed to know, they shook hands and I couldn't be sure but I thought I saw Edward slip him some money, this made me feel a little uneasy and I took a step back, what if Edward was some sort of Psycho? I didn't want to jump to conclusions about him; he'd already been more of a gentleman in the 10 hours that we'd known each other than anyone I'd ever met.

Edward sensed my reluctance to step forward through the small gate, I began to wonder if he'd ever bought anyone else here but I recoiled at the thought and pushed it out of my mind "It's ok Bella, I had to tip him to let us in, this is the best pool along here and it's also closed but anything in Bali can be opened for a price" he said "Sounds legit" I said giving him a side wards glance, he chuckled and let me through ahead of him.

Beyond the small gate it was quite dark and I had to pause to adjust to the dim light, I could see that the enormous pool had lights on in it but not all of them were on, it created the perfect ambiance for those looking to swoon their other halves but I wasn't getting ahead of myself. "Edward leaned down to my ear and whispered "We have to be very quite and stay out of the light" The proximity of him was intoxicating and his breath was the sweetest thing I'd ever smelt, like honey, lilac and sunshine.

He placed the towels on a near by table and began to take his shirt off, I stepped out of my shorts and lifted my singlet top over my head, my eyes had adjusted enough to the dark that I could see Edward's face and I busted him looking at me, he smiled knowing he'd been caught out "Sorry, I couldn't help myself" he said looking down at his hands "Don't be, you can thank Rose for this little number" I said talking about my bikini "I definitely will" he said. He took my hand and led me to the stairs, which were just in front of us. There was a small waterfall that provided a much needed noise barrier, but we still had to be quiet.

The water was so warm, we were only in waist deep when Edward let go of my hand and disappeared under the water and for the few seconds he was out of sight I felt really alone, I saw the faint outline of his body as he glided effortlessly away from me, when he resurfaced he was over near the edge of the pool and stood with his back to the wall and beckoned me over to him with a wicked smile. I advanced through the water and stood in front of him as he ran his hand through his hair, the moonlight reflecting off of his wet skin made me shiver with a growing need I didn't know I had. I just couldn't take my eyes off of him.

The sensuality of our surroundings made us transition quickly from being new found friends to something much more and thinking back there was no denying the chemistry which flowed between us from the instant we laid eyes on each other, call it what you want though, love, lust, pent up sexual tension, there was nothing that was going to stop whatever was meant to happen between us that night.

He was…. Extraordinary, the delicate translucency of his skin made we want to reach out to him but I resisted the urge not wanting to initiate something that I knew I wouldn't be able to stop. His hands found mine and I let our fingers intertwine, he brought them up to the surface and toyed with my fingers, I watched him looking down and sensed that he was as nervous as I was, I gently took back my hands and ducked my self under the water in an effort to douse the flames I could feel would soon consume me, when I surfaced and wiped my hands over my hair and face I couldn't see him but I felt him behind me, he'd been quick to move, he placed his hand on my lower back and I turned to face him, he eased me back towards the wall and down a little towards a darker part of the pool. He towered over me leaning in with his hands supporting him at either side of my shoulders on the hall behind me, my heart was racing and the quickened rise and fall of his chest said that his was too. "Are you afraid?" he asked and lightly touched his forehead to mine "No" I lied, he looked down at me and I looked up at his lips which were only centimeters away from mine, he paused and whispered "May I kiss you Bella" "Please" I said breathlessly, I'd never been asked before. I'd learnt that Edward was a gentleman but now discovered he was also an expert seducer.

His eyes held mine as his hands gently caressed both sides of my face, he leaned down and pressed his lips gently to mine and let them linger there for a sweet moment savoring the feeling, a faint deep moan rumbled from his throat, his right hand slowly moved south over my shoulder, down my back and rested just above my hip holding me to him, both my hands had been by my sides against the wall as I'd braced for impact but as soon as our lips met I was no longer in control of what they did and they began exploring the wide plains of his chest, up over his broad shoulders finally securing his lips to mine as they cradled either side of his neck. Our kiss grew deeper and deeper with each passing second, my skin was aflame as fire within me reignited and the flames of our passion burned with a white hot glow, I couldn't get close enough, he couldn't either, it was beyond painful so when Edward lifted my legs to wrap them around his hips I didn't object. He let the weight of his body press me up against the wall, his mouth retreated down to my neck allowing me to inhale the precious air around us, I couldn't' help but let out a soft breathy moan of my own as his nose skimmed past my jaw and he started on the other side, I moved my head to give him better access and I could hear his deep satisfaction within his ragged breath.

Suddenly his lips left my skin and his eyes met with mine "Don't move" he said and began very slowly moving us a little deeper into the water, with my legs still around his waist he quietly moved us so that we were underneath the wide bridge that crossed over the end of the pool, we were now in complete darkness, in daylight it would have been like a lovely little alcove shielding us from the sun but for us in that moment it was the only thing keeping us from being arrested for trespassing.

He held me tightly and I rested my chin on his shoulder, his thumb moved side to side against my shoulder blade telling me it would be ok, we heard footsteps overhead, the security guard was crossing the bridge, Edwards thumb stopped dead, I closed my eyes and waited for us to be found, evidently it seemed the guard out the front was unaware of the guard inside the grounds. Edward had lowered us down so that only our heads were above the water, we would have been barely visible even in better light, his breath was hot and even against my ear as we remained motionless cheek to cheek, the guard stopped right above us and we heard him light a cigarette, he continued along his way and over the bridge, after a few long moments Edward moved slightly to the edge of the bridge and we saw that the guard had continued down the path and away from where we hid. It had been a close call and we both decided it was best we leave, like a scene out of M.I we grabbed our clothes and stalked back out the gate, our brief but intense make out session was over, for now.


	4. Chapter 4 - Switching off the brain

**Chapter 4**

**Switching off the brain**

Once we were back onto the street Edward handed me a towel and I wrapped it around myself, he used his on his dark bronzed hair and wrapped it wound his waist, to my surprise he reached back under his towel and pulled off his board shorts and rang them out. "What?" he laughed, my widened eyes must have given me away "I have underwear on" he added, I shook my head in mock disbelief, and said "I wish I was as carefree as you" "Oh I don't know, you seemed pretty carefree a little while ago" he said quickly closing the distance between us, his eyes locked on mine, his hands cupping my face and his smile captivating me. He teased me by nudging my nose with his making me think he was going to kiss me but he pulled away, stood up straight and began walking away, when I didn't follow he stopped and turned to look at me and gave me a wink. This was playful Edward and it only mad me want him more.

We walked back down the street towards our hotel and through the hotel foyer towards the elevator, we stepped in and Edward leaned over and gave me a sweet little peck on the cheek, I blushed and this made him smile. We stepped out and he held my hand as we slowly walked along the outdoor corridor towards our rooms. It was quiet, too quiet. "Where'd they go?" I asked "Hhm, well there's Emmett's shoes at your door and there's Alice's' at mine" he said deducing the scene, "Great, so where does that leave us?" I said "Right about here" he said as he lead us over towards the far corner of the balcony, there was a large, wide, soft cushioned cane lounge situated against the wall, he sat down pulling me down onto his lap so I had a leg either side of him, as soon as I was seated our lips met with renewed fervor "Hhmmm, Bella" he breathed "Just so you…know" he started "I'm not going…to sleep…with you…tonight", "It's ok, I wasn't planning on it" I said breathlessly.

He gently took my head in his hands and held me to look at him, our breaths strained "But I'm not willing to stop this either, if that's ok with you" he asked "I don't want you to stop Edward, we can be masochistic with each other tonight, take ourselves to the brink, over and over again, I've already pushed myself further than I thought I would and I'm loving the ache" I said openly "So you want to talk dirty? Hey baby you like that?" he asked tilting my head back to attack my neck with his lips "Mmm, I can feel you do too" I said and pressed myself a little firmer down against his lap.

Edward threw his head back against the padded cushion of the deck chair and I nuzzled into his throat, I held back his head with both of my hands so I was in complete control of him and as I did this his hands roamed all over my rear and down over my legs, his hands worked their magic on the insides of my thighs so tantalizingly close to my aching core before he moved them back up towards my face. We looked at each other and his face was torn and serious "Bella, I don't know if I can hold out, what do you want to do?" he asked "I want to switch off my brain for once" I said knowing there was no way I was going to be able to resist either.

Edward touched the side of my bikini and I was grateful that Rose had made me buy the pair that had tie ups on either side. Edward skillfully began to untie them blindly, once undone I raised my hips slightly and pulled them away from my body. Edward's mouth was urgent and his tongue met with mine in the most delicious way. I reached down between my legs to find the opening of his towel, it was just left to the front but was easy to separate, I looked up at him to see that he had a cheeky grin on his face, I realized why when my hand came in contact with him from under the towel, there was no underwear, he had walked home with nothing more than a towel on, this man was too much. The grin quickly turned into a look of desperate need, I had taken possession of him and began to let him know who was boss.

He was ready, as was I, this wasn't supposed to be a long drawn out thing so I let go and slid myself down onto him. I slowly took in his length and as I did he closed his eyes and let out a low moan, exhaling in pleasure letting his head fall back again, I closed my eyes too and clawed my fingers through the small fine hairs on his masculine chest, his hands gripped my waist firmly to ensure I provided the right rhythm, my rhythm was spot on though, I didn't need guidance, I let myself rise and fall to the beat of my own drum, this was my show.

A few frenzied minutes went by and I came before he did, I made sure I wasn't selfish though and continued my movements until I knew he had come also, I melted into his chest reveling in the afterglow. Who knew change could be so good.

He held me gently against him and I rested my head on his shoulder, a sweet bead of sweat trickled down his neck and I placed my lips over it drinking it in and it was life giving. I started to lift myself off of him but he gently held me in place "Please, just a few moments more, I love the feeling of being inside you Bella" he breathed and I obliged "I should say that I'm sorry but I'm not" He continued "Don't be Edward, you asked me and agreed. I should tell you something though" I said and lifted my lips to his ear and whispered, "You are my first" and I heard him slightly gasp.

He wrapped his arms around me tightly, I heard his breath start to quicken, my words had stirred something inside of him and I could feel him getting hard again. His hips moved greedily up and down forcing himself deeper into me, my own movements in perfect sync with his. Our need for each other was insatiable, this time Edward was first to arrive but it didn't take long before the newly discovered feeling of ecstasy washed over me I met up with him only seconds after. He delighted in making sure I was fully satisfied and took my right breast to his mouth, his tongue swirled over my hardened nipple and I arched my back pressing my chest out towards him, at his last thrust I was finished, burned to the core and I felt my charred ashen body could be carried away by the slightest breeze.


	5. Chapter 5 - Regret

**Chapter 5**

**Regret**

When I motioned to get off this time Edward didn't stop me, we were both spent, I stood up unashamed that I was half naked and grabbed my towel, Edward stood also and fixed his towel back around him, he gently ran the backs of his fingers down over my cheek as I examined his face, he was glowing and his eyes were the lightest, brightest shade of honey brown I'd ever seen. I leaned into his touch involuntarily and closed my eyes.

"Regrets?" he asked quietly "Yes, definitely, I have a few" I said and I felt the weight of my words crashing down upon him, I'm sure he'd wished he'd never asked, I was just toying with him though and continued "Like when I dyed my hair blonde at home and it went green and when I decided that I would only eat raw foods, oh and the time I thought it would be fun to go cliff diving with the I.T guy from work" I saw his expression change instantly and he wore a relieved smile "Sure I have regrets Edward but this, tonight, no, and I never will" I said looking at him and the depth of my sincerity was evident on his beautiful face. He leaned down to kiss me but before our lips touched I pulled back and asked "You?" His mouth came crashing down onto mine and this was all the reply I needed.

As much as I would have loved to have spent the rest of the night kissing him it had been a big day, I was exhausted and I really wanted to shower. "It's been pretty quiet in there" I said and looked towards Edwards' suite "Or is Jasper just the quiet type, I know Alice is" I said amused

"Ah, no definitely not, unfortunately both my brothers tend to be quite vocal, I've learnt to tune it out, but I think you're right, wait here I'll sneak in and check" He said and quietly opened the sliding glass door to his suite.

I watched him from the doorway as he disappeared into the room, it was very dark inside, after a few seconds though I heard him call my name and I stepped inside, "There's no one here" he said laughing and began switching on a few lights, I thought about our semi-public display on the balcony, the open air sex that no-one would have really seen but the thrill of it was propelling, then I thought about his bed. Rosalie was right about me; the she-devil in me was rearing her beautiful head, _better late than never_ I thought.

"Bella, you look tired" he observed "I am but I wouldn't mind a shower, do you mind if I use yours?" I asked, "Go ahead, I'll make us a drink," he said and I walked to the bathroom. The spray of the shower was firm and combined with the hot water made my skin tingle, I stood under it facing the wall and let the water run down over my head and down my back, in my state I could have easily fallen asleep standing up, I don't know how long I'd been standing there before I heard the shower door open. I felt his presence before I felt his hands, I felt his eyes on me even before that, my insecurities were no longer apart of who I was, that evening Edward had taken me to a place where previously my body had dared not go, I'd never been 'that girl', you know, the one who easily gave it up, not that there hadn't been opportunities, Rose always said I should lower my standards and that I was wasting my early twenties waiting for the right person, I was never so glad that I had waited.

The shower area was double the size of a normal one and had a small bamboo footstool at one end; I didn't turn to face Edward as he slid silently into the space behind me, I kept to my position under the water. He lightly placed his left hand on my hip and reached past me with his right to grab the pair of aqua exfoliating gloves that were hanging up in the caddy under the tap and whispered, "These are mine"

His hand disappeared off of my hip as he put the gloves on; he reached back past me and picked out the small bottle of shower gel that had been next to them. If they had been anyone else's the thought would have repulsed me but knowing that they were his, that they had been on his body and that he wanted them to be on mine was one of the most intimate gestures I could imagine.

He placed both hands on my shoulders and began gently kneading them like a massage, the slow, firm, circular movements of his thumbs worked to ease the tension he sensed I had of the moment, he continued to gently rub my shoulders and down over my back working up a lather that he made spread lower onto the top of my hips. His hands slowly slid up the sides of my body and rested just under my arms and at the sides of my breasts, he made no attempts to fondle them and it was then that I realized that this was not meant to be sexual, this was a spiritual experience. Edward was familiarizing himself with my body, exploring me and worshiping me. His continued down and around to my waist and onto my front, his hands sweeping past my stomach and up over my chest.

I stood in complete silence, this was not the time for words, Edwards hands continued to move all over my body, he gently reached down and under me and I looked down at his face, he was so calm and sure, not a hint of embarrassment as he washed my most intimate area, he didn't linger there but continued down to my legs. I couldn't help but feel in total awe of this man who had turned such a mundane task into an act of total devotion.

When he had finished with the gloves he took them off and hung them back up, he positioned me under the spray, the feeling of his hands on my smooth clean skin was indescribable, up to that point we hadn't made eye contact at all but when he finally finished he gazed down at me with a look of pure adulation. I had been so deeply moved by the whole experience and seeing that look on his face was my undoing, I stared into his eyes unable and unwilling to move and felt the hot tears that had been building in my eyes stream down my face.

He placed his hand on my neck and leant down to kiss me, I could feel his chin quivering with emotion and I brought my hands up to caress his face, I gently stroked his cheeks in acknowledgment, this kiss was not like any other we had previously shared, this kiss spoke of the depth of feeling he had for me and I knew right then at that moment that I would never experience a love greater than the one that stood right there before me.


	6. Ch 6: Sweet sleep & painful confessions

**Chapter 6**

**Sweet sleep and painful confessions**

Our kiss ended and Edward sighed and smiled "Sleep?" he asked, "Yes, sleep" I said and we exited the shower. "Did you want to see if anyone is in your room first? I'm only thinking if the others aren't here then they've probably gone out altogether and when they come back they'll probably come back here" he said, "Good thinking, you're coming with me though" I said "As if I could let you go now" he said smiling. He walked into his room to dry off and dress, I wrapped my towel around me and started for the balcony, I collected my clothes and got the room tag out of the pocket of my shorts and opened my door. The scene was the same as it had been next door and there was no one there either, I walked into my room, switched on the lamp beside the bed, changed into my short satin nightdress with matching panties and wasted no time getting into my bed.

I heard the glass door close and lock, Edward appeared at my door and knocked "Come in silly" I said and he sauntered around to the other side of the bed. He was wearing only a pair of light cotton pajama bottoms, which sat low on his hips, he got in and invited me into his arms, I scooted over and rested my head on his chest. He lightly kissed my forehead. "Thank you, Bella" He said softly, I didn't need to verbally reply, Instead I reached over and brought his hand up so I could hold onto it on his chest, I pressed my lips to his long elegant fingers and held his warm, strong hand firmly in mine keeping it in contact with my face and closed my eyes. Sleep was the only thing in our way now.

When I woke it was still quite dark in the room, I looked around and saw that the block out shades had been pulled all the way down but there was a thin strip of bright light on either side of them, the aircon was still on and the tiled floor felt cold on the soles of my feet as I sat on the edge of the bed. I sat there for a minute or so yawning and thought about crawling back under the covers and going back to sleep, I still felt so tired. I looked at the clock on the wall and it told me it was almost 10:30am. I looked over to where Edward had been and wondered how long it had been since he'd woken, It was sweet of him to have left me to sleep but wondered selfishly if he was feeling as lonely out of my room as I was in it.

I rolled back onto the bed and over to his side, I rested my head on his pillow and took a deep breath inhaling his scent, it was like the first cup of coffee in the morning or like water after a long run, he was like a drug and I was addicted. My hand skimmed underneath the pillow and found a small folded piece of paper. Edward had left me a note. I sat back up and turned on the bedside lamp and began to read:

**_Good morning princess,_**

**_I didn't have the heart to wake you, you were so peacefully asleep and I knew you needed to rest; you'd had a big day._**

**_When you're ready come outside, I'll be waiting for you._**

**_Edward xx_**

_How had my heart ever beat before?_ I thought and pondered momentarily on the last few years of my life, of the things that had made my heart race in the past and compared them to the pounding I now felt in my chest. I thought I'd been living a fulfilling life but the mere existence of Edward proved I'd been doing anything but living.

I grabbed the short white robe that he had thoughtfully laid out on the edge of my bed, slipped my feet into a pair of matching backless slippers that were placed on the floor and made my way through the suite and out onto the balcony.

Edward was laying motionless on the cane lounge with a book on his chest; he wore tan shorts and a plain white tee and was sound asleep, I felt bad for sleeping so long and my mind instantly conjured up a hundred different ways I could make it up to him. I walked past the small table near the door, which had a platter of fresh fruits on it; I picked up a plump ripe strawberry and ghosted over to his sleeping form. I knelt down on the ground next to where he'd laid his head and positioned the strawberry to his soft pink lips; he didn't open his eyes but opened his mouth and took a bite, he was playing with me, "More" he said so I picked off the stalk, bit into half of what was left and placed the rest into his mouth. I placed my hand on his face gently swiping my thumb across his bottom lip; he finished chewing, opened his eyes and slowly took the tip of my thumb into his mouth and sucked at the juice that had been on it. I took my thumb back and put it to my own mouth.

"Good morning sleeping beauty, how do you feel?" he asked, "I feel good, how about you, how did you sleep? I asked and moved to sit on the lounge with him, he sat up and opened his legs for me to sit in front of him, he wrapped his arms around me and I leaned back against him resting my head on his chest. "I slept very well thank you" He replied softly, He pushed back my hair exposing my neck and firmly placed his lips to my throat, "When you weren't talking that is" he added. I felt the blood rush to my face and wondered what I'd said in my sleep "How bad was it?" I asked "Well you didn't leak any secret military codes, if that's what you mean," He joked "Very funny Edward, tell me or I'll…." "Or you'll what?" he said quickly "Or I'll…. I'll have to tickle it out of you" I said " In that case my lips are sealed" he said calling my bluff "You asked for it" I said and moved so I was seated sideways to him, I dug my fingers into his sides and began tickling his ribs, he squirmed like a little boy and I couldn't help but laugh as him, he was so cute the way he pretended to struggle against me, he let me attack him for a while barely putting up any fight before he grabbed my sides and started retaliating, he gave as good as he got and before long I was the one squirming becoming putty in his hands.

He was the master and I was his apprentice, somehow he'd skillfully gotten me onto my back without me even realizing and he hovered over me, I felt his knee in between my legs as he leant down with his elbows at both sides of my head and placed both hands on top of my head. His stared into my eyes and our laughter quickly ended.

Simultaneously, as though we'd both been cast under the same spell our childish game turned into adult wanting, he nudged my nose with his as he had done the night before, teasing me and testing my strength, his eyes locked onto the prize and he unleashed the full force of his lips onto mine, he was like a man starved, this was another side of Edward I'd not yet met, last night's kisses had nothing on this one and I'd thought that they had been pretty intense, he was like a caged animal being freed for the first time.

Without breaking our kiss he scooped me up into his arms and carried me in through the open door of his suite, He stood still just for a moment to close the door behind us with his foot and I saw him turn the 'Do not disturb' sign so it faced outwards. I kicked off my slippers and heard them hit the floor. He took me through into his room and stood me back up at the foot of his bed, he broke our kiss for only a second to pull off his shirt but instantly returned, my hands went straight to his chest and I wanted desperately to grab onto something, he untied my robe and let it fall to the floor, my hands ran down his chest and down to the button on his shorts, I undid it and the zipper and pushed them down over his hips, he stepped out of them and kicked them away, he began to lift the bottom of my nightdress so I raised my arms and he swiftly pulled it off and threw it over near his shorts, He seated me onto the edge of the bed and removed his underwear, his eyes boring into mine as he leaned into me so I was once again on my back, his hands franticly moved to my hips and to my panties, I lifted my body slightly and he removed them tossing them aside with our other clothes. Like a predator he stalked over me lifting my legs up so they were either side of him, he entered me quickly as I held my legs up over his hips, he placed his hands on my knees and began to steadily withdraw and advance, I gripped the sheets with both hands and arched my back in desperation, I couldn't restrain myself any longer and I let out a soft breathy moan which seemed to spur Edward rapidly on towards home plate, his eyes were shut tight and his moans of pleasure resonated with my own.

He kept a hold of me for a few seconds more before pulling out; he stepped forward and laid his body on top of mine, his buried his head into my neck and I wrapped my arms around him placing kisses on his shoulder, he kissed my neck and we held each other close while we waited for our breathing to return to normal.

"Bella, you're doing things to me I can't explain," he breathed "I've never been with anyone like this, I just can't seem to get enough of you" he said "It's not you're fault, seriously Edward, what's not to like?" I joked; he chuckled and looked up at me "Well that's true. I really mean it though; I try to be a gentleman Bella much to my brothers amusement, we just met yesterday but I feel like I've know you all my life, I've waited forever for you, I just wanted to make sure you knew that, I don't ever want to make you feel, used." "I don't, and you are a gentleman, you make me feel wanted, loved, even if it's just for a little while Edward, I'll take it," I said and he kissed me tenderly. "I don't want this to be for a little while, I can't see myself going back from this, I wouldn't be able to function in a world where you didn't exist," he confessed "I know, it's painful to think about Edward, we'll figure it out, we'll have to." I agreed.


	7. Chapter 7: Reality

**Chapter 7**

**Reality **

Edward gently moved off of me and we laid next to each other on his bed, I stared up to the ceiling in quiet contemplation not bothered that my body was still bare, I felt my heart swelling at the weight of his words, his honest confession about the feelings he already had for me, and I admired his ability to share them, he had taught me in one day what others took a lifetime to learn, he had taught me that the path to happiness began with honesty and that he wanted to hold my hand along the way.

Edward turned his body sideward to mine and began to trace little circles on my stomach; I couldn't look at him, I didn't want him to see that I had begun to cry, this was folly though as my tears spilled over and ran down the side of my face, I'd begun thinking about how it would feel on our last day and it was overwhelming, _Don't do this to yourself_. I thought. "Bella, honey, don't cry, we'll be ok" he said as he leaned up and looked down at me, he caressed my face with his free hand gently wiping away my tears, it was hard to speak because I didn't want to completely break down but I needed him to know that I felt the same.

"This is insane Edward," I laughed despite myself still looking up above "Who falls in love after one day! I feel like I'm dreaming, if I am though I don't ever want to wake up." I concluded "Have you fallen in love with me?" he whispered, his lips hovered over mine, he was desperately trying to get me to look at him, yet despite his resent words I was suddenly terrified to answer, what if he didn't quite feel the same yet, he hadn't actually told me he loved me, "Bella, you're over thinking it, tell me, please baby, I need to know" he urged, I finally looked at him, totally confident in what would be my response and simply said "Yes."

As if I was the most delicate flower his lips tenderly met with mine, we kissed each other gently and slowly, silently reaffirming to one another in a physical form that which we had just affirmed to one another in our spoken words.

Reality is a force not to be reckoned with and it remained the constant while we were in a whole other dimension, evidently, reality is also a jealous whore and she must be green with envy at me, as she'd teamed up with Mother Nature to bitchslap me back into her. I needed to use the bathroom and I was starving, Edward new it too and giggled at the sounds my tummy was making. So embarrassed, I wanted to crawl under a rock.

He pulled me up off of the bed and passed me my robe, he watched me put it on, just standing there in all his glory with his hands on his hips and a grin which would put the devil's to shame. I picked up his shorts and shirt and playfully threw them at him, he laughed and began to dress as I walked out of his bedroom and into the bathroom.

After I was done I walked back into the bedroom to collect my clothes and heard Edward's mobile ring, I walked out into the living area while Edward stood at the kitchen bench pouring us a coffee, he held the phone to his ear and looked up at me, I indicated that I was going to go back to my room but that I would be back in five, he nodded and I stepped out the door.

It was nearly midday and I wondered if the girls would be back in the room, then I wondered what I would tell them, we hadn't seen each other since the night before and I hoped that they didn't think I was uncaring for not calling to see if they were ok. If they were with the boys I knew they would be ok, not that I knew the boys at all but I figured if they were anything like their brother, my friends would be in safe hands. I opened the door and again there was no one inside.

I decided I would take a very quick shower and pick out some fresh clothes, I brushed my long mahogany hair up into a high pony tail and chose my little yellow sundress, I put it on over my dark blue bikini and picked out my phone from my bag. I walked out of the room and onto the balcony towards next door. I looked down at my phone and there were 7 picture messages – all from Rose. I opened up the first one and it was of her and Alice in a crowded bar, the second was of Alice and Jasper, the third one was of Rose and Emmett, the fourth was of Emmett and Jasper, the fifth was of Emmett kissing Rose, the sixth was of Alice kissing Jasper and the seventh was of all of them standing with Randy Orton!

"Oh my fucking god" I said out loud, Edward had just stepped out onto the balcony and came over to look at what I was so happy about " What is it?" he asked "Look, it's Randy Orton!" I said holding the phone so he could get a better look at the picture "Hey, wow, that's so cool, my brothers would have been beside themselves! It's a good thing you know who that is Bella, otherwise you're gonna be so bored sometimes." he said laughing, "Oh you have no worries there, there will be no dates on Friday's or Monday's" I said, communicating to him that I knew of Smackdown & Raw, I'd happily stumbled upon a piece of the puzzle I had begun to construct of Edward in my mind, he and his brothers were wrestling fans and he now knew we were too, _could this trip get any better_ I wondered and we sat down on our favorite lounge to drink our coffee.

I was so relaxed. After a little while Edward broke the silence we'd been sitting in whilst we enjoyed our coffee, "Bella, would you like to do anything today?" he asked "No, not really, I'd be happy just lounging by the pool" I said "But you don't have to stay with me you know, if you don't want to, your brother's might want you to do something with them" I said "No, it's ok, the pool sounds perfect to me" he said "But on the other hand, your friends might want you to do something with them" he noted "Well if they do we can do something tomorrow, today I just want to relax" I stated "Anyway, I imagine when they get back they'll all just want to pass out, they wouldn't have slept yet" "Yeah, probably" he said

"Do you want to go get some lunch?" he asked "Actually yeah, I should eat something" I replied and we got up, got our belongings and started on down to the outdoor restaurant that was serving lunch. It was a buffet setting but had a section that you could ask a chef to cook you something, I didn't really want much, I asked the chef to cook me an omelet whilst Edward took a bowl over to where they had some steamed rice and satay chicken, I leaned back on the counter and looked over at him as he got his food, every female in the place knew he was there but he didn't seem to be aware of any of them, only me, he must have sensed me looking because I could see a wide smile start to appear on his face as he finished getting what he wanted, he turned to walk over to where I stood and was still smiling when he reached me, he looked down at me, touched his lips to mine and said" You know, you're going to burn a hole in my new shirt if you keep looking at me like that" "No, you're shirt is safe, I'd be more worried about your shorts" I said teasingly "Bella, you're a very naughty girl" he whispered, putting his arm around my waist and leaning down to my ear "I'm going to have to punish you" he added. _Fuck me, did he just say that? _I thought and my jaw slightly dropped, he saw this and let out a soft little laugh and kissed my forehead.

The chef handed me my food and we walked outside to a table that over looked the beach, it was very warm but we were shaded under a large umbrella. We sat opposite to each other and he let me sit on the side that had the view, It could have been an open field for all I cared, the ocean had nothing on the beauty of Edward's face and it took all of my strength not to sit there and just stare at him. I forced my self to look away and let him eat in peace, I knew how annoyed it made me feel when my mum use to watch me eat, although when ever I protested she'd say it was because she needed to make sure I had.

Just then a waitress came over and gave us two bottles of chilled water "Thank you" I said and she replied in a light Indonesian accent "You're welcome. Are you finished with your plate?" "Yes, thanks" "And you sir?" she asked looking at Edward "Yes, thank you" he replied and she picked both of them up and walked away. "You wanna go?" he asked "yeah" I said and we headed down the stairs to the pool deck.

We lounged on side-by-side deck chairs for about twenty minutes before the heat was too much and I needed to cool off. I stood up and pulled my little dress up over my head and walked over to the stairs, it was like bathwater, not really refreshing but better than the dry bake of the sun. Edward hadn't moved, his eyes were closed when I'd gotten up, it was nice to see him relaxing so peacefully but in all honesty all I really wanted to see was him take his shirt off.

I ducked my head under to wet my hair and when I came up I heard Edwards phone ringing again. He opened his eyes and answered it looking over to my empty chair for a moment before scanning the pool to find me. We locked eyes and whilst still talking to whom ever had called he casually pulled his shirt up over his head with his free hand and placed it on the small table in between us. He didn't disappoint, the sight of his bare chest made my breath hitch and I had to swallow down hard on the fresh flow of saliva which had quickly pooled in my mouth, Edward was literally making me salivate and I felt hungry again, this time not for food, but for him.

I swam over to the edge of the pool and rested my arms up on top. Edward had finished with his call and was sitting upright with a leg either side of the deck chair looking down at me "Is it nice?" he asked "Yeah it's lovely, you should come in" I said "I'll have to go change first" he said "Ok, don't take too long, Mr. Cullen" I said and he got up and began walking back to his room.

I hadn't moved and after about five minutes I heard someone call my name, it was Alice. What a sight these four were. In order to get back to our rooms you had to walk past the pool and the four of them looked like the walking dead. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" I joked "Very funny Bella. Everything ok?" She asked, I began walking over towards the stairs and she past me a towel "Yeah everything's good, boy you guys look like you've had fun last night" I said "He's as good looking in person as he is on T.V Bella" explained Rosalie about Randy Orton with a huge smile on her face, I couldn't help but smile too "I'm so jealous right now, I hear you boys would have been as excited as they were" I said looking at Emmett and Jasper "Yeah, it was pretty amazing, he was a cool guy" said "So you must have hung out with Edward last night hey? Asked Emmett with a cheeky grin, "Yeah we hung out a bit" I said as nonchalantly as I could, not wanting to give the game away, in that instant a swarm of images from our intimate encounters dominated my vision, I shook my head slightly and looked at the girls and said "So you guys just gonna go crash?" "Do we look that bad?" Asked Alice "Yeah, you do" I laughed "Go rest up, I'll catch up with you guys later" "Ok, don't forget sunscreen" Said Alice "Ok mum" I said as they walked off.

I removed my towel, laid down on the deck chair and closed my eyes, the sounds of kids playing in the pool was impeding on my ability to relax, I persevered though waiting for Edward to come back. When he did he was wearing his dark blue board shorts and nothing else, it had been worth the wait. "Hey" he said and leant down to kiss my forehead "Hi" I said back, " Did you see the others? They were on their way up" I asked looking up at him, he was still standing, "No I must have just missed them, how'd they pull up?" He asked with a laugh "Well they were walking, just" I said and placed my hand on the back of his knee "Mmmm, I doubt we'll see them again at least until dinner" He noted "Until then, it's just you and me babe" He said playfully "I like it" I said and gently grabbed the bottom of his shorts to pull him down to me, he reacted accordingly, knelt down and brought his face close to mine, he kissed me, so sweetly and yet with so much longing, did he not know what this did to me? Maybe he did and yet maybe he didn't care, Edward was not afraid of showing his affections in public but it was hard work, at least on my part, I had only recently been educated on the benefits of not remaining celibate and my thirst for knowledge on this particular subject was no where near quenched.

Edward on the other hand was an expert and must have had lots of experiences to which I didn't want to think about; on the other hand he was a gentleman so maybe he was just a natural. I decided to hold on to the last thought and make that be the truth, the thought of him in another woman's arms was unbearable. "Wanna hit the spa? There's no one in there" he asked "Sounds good" I said thankful to be able to escape the squeals and noise and thankful we wouldn't have to be sharing the space with anyone else.


	8. Chapter 8: Painful recollections

**Chapter 8**

**Painful recollections**

The in ground spa was in the far corner of the pool area and was covered by a large umbrella; you could actually see the balcony of our room very clearly from it too. Edward took my hand as he helped me in, he then got in and sat opposite me, I rested my head back, closed my eyes and let the water jet at my back work it's magic. "You look very relaxed there Bella," he said "I am," I said without moving. He reached down and picked up my right foot and began to gently massage it, it felt so nice, the feeling of his fingers as they stroked firmly up the soles of my foot was indescribable. I opened my eyes and looked at his face, he looked up from what he was doing and asked, "Am I being too rough?" "No, it's just right" I replied. He let that foot go and picked up the left one and repeated the process.

"Bella, do you mind if I ask a few questions?" He asked, still holding on to my foot, "No, not at all officer, fire away" I replied, "OK" he chuckled, "Ah, how old are you?" he asked, I could tell he was nervous about asking me, "Relax, I'm 22" I said relieving him "Although you should never ask a woman how old she is" I advised "I'm sorry, it's just you look 17" he said appraising me "It's ok, I'm just messin with ya, I'll take that as a compliment thought" I said "Next" I continued "Ok, do you have any brothers or sisters?" He asked "Nope, Just me, I moved out of home when I was 18, never had a dad, mum's a drunk, I live with Rose and Alice, they are the sisters I never had, we work together and we share the house that I'm buying." I said, "Do you ever see your mum? He asked "As little as possible" I said flatly, "I'm not my mum's biggest fan, she's cold, manipulative and selfish and I just don't need that in my life" "It sounds like you've made the best out of a bad situation" He said "Well I figure why dwell of the negative, life is what you make of it after all, I love my life, I love living with the girls, I can come and go as I please and I don't have to answer to anyone" I explained "In any case I'm sorry to hear you've had it tough, I know what it's like" He said "Thanks" I said

"What about you Edward, I know you have Emmett and Jasper, any sisters?" I asked, "No, it's just us, we all still live at home though" he chuckled, "But mum & dad respect our privacy and we can do as we please" "A mamma's boy hey" I teased "Nah, well, maybe" he laughed "I love my parents very much, they're the two best people I know" he explained "That's pretty cool you say that, I respect that" I said "Thanks" he said looking down at my feet and smiling

"I have to say though, you don't look like your brothers Edward, in fact none of you look remotely alike at all" I said, not realizing the impact of my thoughtless question, Edward's hands froze but kept a hold of my foot "We're adopted" He said "Our parents couldn't have kids of their own so they adopted us when we were young" He explained and I sensed a deep sadness, he paused but looked as though he wasn't finished, like as if he was trying to decide if he should go on, then he continued to massage my foot again, he had resolved to speak but didn't look up.

"I was 3 years old when I was found" he started, speaking quite softly "Edward, you don't have to go on, I'm so thoughtless sometimes, I can see that this hurts to talk about" I interjected, he let go of my foot and moved over to sit beside me, he placed his arm around my shoulder and pressed my head lightly against his chest with his hand, I looked up at him and he kissed my temple "It doesn't hurt as much as it use to, it's part of who I am and I'd like you to know," he said honestly, I placed my hand on his chest in a gesture of kindness and said "Then I'm listening"

"I don't remember much of this myself, my mum told me the story when I was about 10 years old. We'd begun, as you did, to realize that we were nothing alike and so my parents decided it was time they told us that we were adopted. I was so curious about it, the others not so much, mum tried for a long time to convince me not to make her tell me about how I came to be theirs but I was persistent. Finally, she and dad took me to the park for a picnic one day, just the three of us, Mum said she'd hoped the familiar surroundings of a place I loved going to would make what they had to tell me a little less awful than what it was."

I broke out of his embrace and turned to look at him, he was face was solemn, I held his hand and he continued "The police didn't know how long I'd been outside for, the neighbors found me lying on the front lawn, I'd literally been tossed out from the house and left for dead. I was skinny, dirty and cold and covered in bruises, I had a cut down my face and burn marks on my arms and back, I also had a broken pinky finger" he explained and lifted his left hand up to show me, he wiggled it "See, it never quite set right" he smiled trying to lighten the mood but his smile didn't quite touch his eyes, I took his hand and held his pinky finger to my lips and closed my eyes, I gave it a gentle kiss and he continued with his story "But that wasn't the worst, I also had 4 broken ribs and a fractured pelvis, They took me to the hospital and I was bathed and stitched and put back together, after I had healed enough I was placed into foster care and was lucky enough to be placed with my mum and dad from the beginning,

It took a long time for me to adjust and mum said I didn't talk at all for about a year, that's when they decided to adopt me and my brothers, dad said that the counselors recommended I start interacting with other children and mum and dad thought what better way to do that than to have other children around me all the time. They were right and it didn't take long before my brothers and I bonded and became inseparable."

I looked up at him "Edward, that's the saddest story I've ever heard, I can tell you've made your piece with it, but it must still haunt you" I said "You're right, it does but I've had a great life though, I'm one of the lucky ones" He said and he brought me in for a hug. "Ok princess, enough with the heavy, lets talk movies" He said turning the conversation around and we went on to discuss our favorite films, and music and hobbies and all the while I could see lots of little puzzle pieces finding their spots, however, the picture wasn't clear, I knew I wouldn't know what it would reveal until our last day.


	9. Chapter 9: A place of our own

**Chapter 9**

**A place of our own**

We decided that we'd learnt enough about each other for the time being and got out of the spa and started back up to our rooms. When we'd almost reached my room Edward stopped and went to open the suite next to mine "Wrong room doofus" I said "Ah, no, I don't think so, doofus" he said as he swiped a key tag on the door. It opened and he looked at me like he was a magician, '_what the…?' _I mouthed and he smiled, "C'mon in, I won't bite" he said and just as my body had passed him at the door I heard him say "Hard" I turned and gave him a mock punch in the gut.

"What is this?" I asked, "This is…ours" He replied "Ours?" I questioned, "If you'd like, it's only because if you go into your room now you'd find two girls sprawled out asleep and I have a similar problem in my room" He explained "I see" I said appraising the room, he sauntered up behind me and kissed the back of my head, his hands began to snake themselves down my arms and to my hands "I love the lounge outside but it's more cozy in here, don't you think?" I didn't reply I just squeezed his fingers which were interlocked with mine telling him that I agreed.

"Am I moving to fast?" He asked "No, I think that ships sailed, besides I was the captain on our maiden voyage, remember?" I said "I do, how could I forget, although isn't the captain supposed to go down…with the ship?" he asked, pure sex dripping off of his words, I gripped his fingers tighter, I could feel his growing urgency against the small of my back, he dropped his head down to my neck and began kissing it, slowly and gently, he pressed his body up closer against mine and I let go of his fingers, I reached my hand up to touch his face as he continued his delightful torture on my neck, his hands now free, they untied my towel and it dropped to the floor, he slid his hands up under my bikini and cupped my breasts, he turned me so I faced him and his mouth went straight to my chest, first to the right, then to the left, each was left tingling from what he did with his tongue, my hands gripped his hair and I pulled his lips to mine, he wasn't quiet, his breathing told of his desire, I wanted, as I had done the night before, to be the leader so I lead him through into the lounge room and we hurriedly undressed, I pushed him down onto the sofa and stood in front of him in complete confidence, his looked up at me, his eyes begging me to do what he had insinuated he'd wanted me to do, I gave him a wink, got down on my knees and began doing what any self respecting captain would do.

Although it wasn't pleasant, I let him finish completely not wanting to break the hold I had on him, he looked at me with awe, I wanted him to know that I would do anything for him. He sat forward and took my head in his hands and kissed me deeply, this telling me he would do anything for me. "Bella, you didn't have to do that baby, but I'm glad you did" He said, "It's ok, I just can't seem to get enough of you Edward," I said and he pulled me up onto his lap and held me against him.

We stayed there on the sofa, naked and cuddling each other for what seemed like ages, in evidently though all good things must come to an end, and when his phone rang again it signified that it was time to move. I got up and went into the bathroom to freshen up. I brushed my teeth and got dressed back into my bikini and walked back into the living room. Edward talked quietly in the bedroom with the door closed so I plonked myself onto the sofa to wait for him to come back out.

I closed my eyes and drifted off into a shallow slumber. When I woke up the sun was setting, I'd fallen completely asleep and Edward had draped a sheet over me. I got up and heard the shower going, _Poor Edward; _I thought _I've left him waiting for me again. _I stepped out onto the balcony and saw that the other four were sitting on 'The lounge' A smile broke out on my face when they saw me and they were ready to pounce "Well, well, well, doin' the walk of shame, Bella" said Emmett "I'm…doing a walk, yes, but there's no shame" I said choosing my words carefully "Ah so poetic Bella, nicely done" said Alice "Indeed" I said raising my eyebrows at her. "Where's the big guy?" Asked Jasper "In the shower" I said "Then why are you out here?" Ribbed Rose "Because I'm not the dirty one" I said playing along "Ooohhhhh, cheeky, see Alice, I knew this trip would do her good" Said Rose and the boys laughed along with the rest of us, I sat down and took a sip of water from the bottle I'd gotten out of the fridge before I stepped outside, I sat in a single seater chair which faced sideways to the entrance of the rooms, When we heard the glass sliding door of the new room open we all turned to face in that direction.

"Little brother, you've out done yourself" said Emmett as Edward approached, he automatically came up to stand beside my chair and placed his hand on my shoulder "Take no notice of them" He said, he looked semi worried "I grabbed his hand and began playing along "Oh that's nothing, I've heard lots of interesting stories about this and that" I said looking at the others, Edward tensed for a moment and then I laughed and he knew I was kidding "Not nice Bella" He said grinning in relief "You girls together have quite the sense of humor, you must know each other very well" said Jasper and then Rose went on to explain in a similar fashion what I had told Edward about us living together.

Naturally I knew the content of the story so I didn't stay tuned in for long, Edward had pulled a chair over and sat next to me, I wanted to reach out and take his hand in mine but I didn't know if he wanted to make it known that we were close yet, it was a silly thought, I should have because he reached out and took mine in his and I felt bad for not doing it when I felt I wanted to, the others weren't stupid, they would have known something was happening the instant we both came out of our new room. I saw Rose look at us from the corner of my eye and I knew it wouldn't be long before they girls would take me aside and demand I spill the beans.

We all talked for a while, getting to know each other and they told us about what they had done the night before, Alice and Rose said they wanted to take me to the place they had been and we made plans to go there the following night, the boys insisted that they come along claiming that it would be unsafe for us to be out by ourselves, I didn't mind one bit, nor did the others but I knew I wasn't going to be staying out as late as they would be and I was glad to think that I wouldn't have to be coming back alone.

It was past dinnertime so we ordered room service. The house staff didn't take long in bringing our food up and we all shared what we'd gotten. "Bella, we're going to go for a walk, wanna come?" Asked Alice "No, I'm good thanks" "It wasn't really a question," she said as she and Rose got up, without giving me a chance to protest Rose grabbed my hand and pulled me up off of my chair "I guess I'm going for a walk" I said to Edward "Good Luck" he said "Same to you, little brother" I said and this made him laugh.

This was not going to be easy, just what was I going to say? I thought about Edward and how honest he had been with me the night before and how it made everything seem so clear, I decided I would use the same approach to the questions I knew would be hurled at me. Although I was sure about my feelings for Edward, it didn't make it any easier to try to explain it in the right way. To the outsider, it would appear that we were two people enjoying each others company, but generally speaking, I knew in the real world two people who had just met each other and were enjoying each other's company in the way we were equated to lust, not love. I needed to convey to Alice and Rose that we were in love, albeit the early stages of it, but that it was real and tangible, but I knew the idea would take some selling.


	10. Chapter 10: Coming Home

**** To my dear readers and loyal followers ****

Firstly, thank you for taking the time to escape into my world. Secondly, c'mon people, 'Show me the love'. If you're enjoying my story please post a review, to a writer its like air, I'm enjoying pouring my heart and soul into this story and I'd be beyond grateful if you would take a few moments to let me know what you think. Unlike our beloved Edward, I'm not a mind reader (even though he's not one here)

xx Temajin

**Chapter 10**

**Coming home**

We walked out of the hotel and onto the street, it was still quite busy with tourists and bikes and we began walking in the direction of the other hotel where Edward had taken me for our first swim. As we walked past the guard he smiled and said "Good evening miss Bella" "Hi" I said a bit taken back, Edward must have told him my name and it didn't surprise me that he'd remembered, the Balinese have exceptional memories when it comes to tourists. "Do you know that guy?" Asked Alice "No, but Edward does" I replied "Ok, I'm not going to ask why" she said "They've been here before Alice, don't you remember when Jasper told us, they come here every year" Said Rose, "Oh yeah I remember, Jasper said their parents ship them off so they can have some 'Alone' time" Alice recalled "Yeah, cos they all live together, bit weird for men their age to be still living at home, but each to their own" she said "I think it's nice that they do, they're a close family" I said "Well it won't be for much longer, Emmett said that with Edward starting University soon he and Jasper might move out together and share a studio in Seattle" explained Rose "Does Edward know that?" Asked Rose "I don't know, but I'm not going to be the one to tell him, it's none of my business" I said.

I could feel my mood shift, I was getting irritable, hearing them speak of the boys and what they knew of their lives was nauseating, they spoke so carefree about the future with no evident sadness or regret, it was like as if the time they were spending with them was meaningless. '_You're an idiot, of course it's meaningless, it's only been two fucking days' _I chided myself, being apart from Edward made me start to think I was being foolish and hearing the girls speak made me feel embarrassed that I'd let it go so far. My self-confidence plummeted and I began to tremble.

"Bella, are you ok, what's wrong?" Asked Alice, she grabbed my arms and looked worried "Nothing" I said and looked away "Nothing? Look at you! Was it something we said?" she asked, I just shook my head unable to speak, I was about to lose it. "Come here" Said Alice and she wrapped her arms around me, Rose stood to the side and stroked my hair "Bella, is it Edward? Did he hurt you?" Asked Rose "No, it's just…" "What honey, you can tell us" She said, "It's just…" I couldn't get the words out, it hurt too much, I began to imagine the absolute worst, I had a bad habit of doing that when things were going well, I'd always find some way of flipping what I knew was right and true and turning it into the complete opposite, I really did have a screw lose. My evil mind started picturing Edward giving hi-fives to his brothers for scoring so quickly, or them chinking bottles together in toasting their victories, how could I do this to him though, how could I let my thoughts betray him in such a callused way, I knew him, _He wouldn't do that, he's not like that, you've known guys like that and that's not Edward, _screamed the more sensible side of my brain, _What did I say before, you're an idiot, _it continued.

Just then I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I picked it out and it was Edward "Hey" I answered, my voice quivering, I moved away from the girls and walked across the street "Hey, I'm just checking to see you're still alive" he joked "I am, just" I said "Are you ok? You sound upset" he asked, "Yeah, no, I'm ok. It's just…. Edward, please tell me this is real, It is real isn't it? I mean I'm not being made a fool, of am I" I had to ask but I regretted it at the same time, I had to hear him reaffirm it otherwise I felt as though I would die. Edward let out a long sigh; "Bella, I'm so sorry, I've failed you, for you to have to ask means that I have. Yes, this is real princess, it is for me, I can feel your heartache over the phone so I know that it is for you too. Don't let the girls underestimate what we have, I've spoken with Emmett and Jasper, they both like the girls but are more into having a good time here, they said the girls feel the same so don't let them cheat you into thinking that what we have is anything like what they have, because it's nothing like that, at all. Listen to me, wipe your eyes, stand up straight and go speak with your friends, I am in love with you" He explained "Thank you, Edward, I just needed to hear it, I can face them now" I said.

The girls stood across the road and waited patiently for me "Edward, what did you tell your brothers though?" I asked, "I told them the truth, that I'm in love. I got a punch in the arm after that" he said laughing "Oh poor baby" I said laughing too "They didn't say too much, other than they knew it was bound to happen, that I'm too much of a gentleman to just be with anyone and when they saw that we'd come out of our new suite they knew something big had occurred and that 'something like love' would be involved, that was Jasper's words, not mine" he chuckled "Well he's right, and I'm glad they know. Fuck the haters I say" I said "Bella! Watch your language, you're already in trouble from lunch, you don't want the punishment to get any worse do you?" He teased, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fucker!" I continued, "You're in for it, you know that right? Naughty, naughty girl!" he purred "No go talk to your friends so you can come home" he said "Mmmm, coming home, I could get use to that, see you soon" I said and hung up.

The girls lead me into an outdoor restaurant and we sat at a table, although it was late they were still open. "Bella, tell us" Alice asked quietly "Guys, I don't know where to start, I feel so… different" I started "Edward and I…" I paused and the girls began to lean in, hanging on my every word "We've…." I tried again "Oh c'mon Bella, spit it out!" Said rose with a smile on her face "Ok! Edward and I…. have something, I want to explain it but I don't expect you both to understand, you guys are having a good time with Emmett and Jasper right?" I asked "Yeah, those boys are fun" Said Rose looking at Alice, Alice nodded in agreement "Well, I'm having a good time with Edward too" I said "Ah, Bella I'd say you're having more than a good time with Edward, he's hired another room for you guys, what does that say?" Rose said observantly "I tell you what it says, Rose" started Alice "It says little brother is in love" she smiled and her and Rose bumped shoulders in triumph "I'd say our job is done, wouldn't you Rose?" Said Alice "I'd say you're right Alice" she replied. "So, you don't think I'm being foolish? You don't think I'm out of my mind?" I asked them "It doesn't matter what we think Bella, you've been mentally five years older than us since forever, so it's high time you settled down, your clock is ticking girl!" joked Rose "Ha Ha guys very funny, my clock can tick all it wants, I'll let you girls bear the children and I can be the awesome aunty" I joked "Seriously though, you've fallen in love with him, what's going to happen when it's time to go?" asked Alice "We've touched on that but not really discussed it, Edward seems to think it will be ok and that we'll work something out, for now we're just enjoying being together" I explained "I'll say, the way he looks at you, it's like you're something to eat" said Rose "More like he's something for her to eat" said Alice to Rose having fun at my expense "Ah guys, I'm right here" I said "Oh we know, this is too much fun though! We love you Bella, just do what ever makes you happy and we'll be there to support you" said Alice "You always are" I said and we got up for a group hug "C'mon, let's go back, our boys are will be missing us" said Rose playfully

As we walked towards the elevator Emmett was standing at the railing of the balcony above, he'd given Rose a few wolf whistles and she'd looked up at him and struck a sexy pose, she was incorrigible, definitely the most outgoing of the three of us and always the life of the party.

When we got back upstairs the boys were still sitting where they were when we left them. I walked up to Edward and planted a kiss on his forehead "I'm going to go get my things and move house" I whispered "I'll go turn down our bed" He said and stood up. I disappeared into my old room "You piking on us little bro?" asked Emmett "Yeah, I'm a bit tired you know, just gonna hit the sack" Edward said playfully "Ah, that's not nice, I thought her name was Bella" Jasper was quick with the joke, Edward leaned in and began a mock wrestle with him "G'nite big fella, take it easy on her" Said Jasper as the duel ended "Dude" Edward chuckled "Night Girls, see you tomorrow" "Good night Edward" they both said and he walked into our room.

It felt weird taking everything just next-door "Have fun on your trip Bella" joked Alice when I'd walked past. When I was done I came back out to say good night, I kissed my girls and waved a good night at the boys then left them all to their own devices. I locked the door and took a deep breath, the room smelt like roses, Edward had lit a scented candle and it was placed on the kitchen bench. He appeared at the bedroom door and walked out towards me. He didn't speak; instead he took me into his arms and hugged me. He buried his face in my neck and let his lips linger unmoving, his arms were strong and they held me to him firmly. He had missed me. We stood for a few minutes in silence and he'd started to gently rock me back and forth like a child.

"I need you," He said breaking the silence "I need you so much Bella" "I'm here Edward, I'm not going anywhere" I said, "But you will be and so will I and I'll still need you" he said and suddenly my eyes filled with moisture. There was no stopping it, I broke down and for minutes I cried so hard, absolutely wallowing in despair, I felt Edward's tears fall onto my neck and I could feel it in his chest that he was in the same state I was, he kissed my neck in desperate need to be as close to me as possible, his emotions radiated out from his body and we stood enveloped in each others' deep depression, but we needed this, although it hurt so much we needed to get it out and I think Edward was doing us both a favor by initiating this now rather than us having to deal with it when we had less time, at least now we could deal with it properly and make our decisions based on proper thought and not rushed ideas and promises. "C'mon, let go to bed" he said and he raised his face to look at me, he was so sad, I wiped his eyes with my thumbs and he smiled a half-smile and we walked into our room.

We laid in each other arms with just one lamp on for light, he gently stroked my arm as I absent mindedly played with the hair on his chest. "When do you start your studies Edward?" I asked "The semester starts in 6 weeks and goes for 10 weeks at a time, I get a month off in between each term though" He explained "Where is it? Where is the University?" I asked, "It's the School of medicine in Seattle" He replied "So you won't be too far from home then?" I asked, "No, I don't stray far from the nest, I'll still need mum to do my laundry" he joked; I smiled, _should I say anything? _I thought, toying over what Alice and Rose had said about the boys maybe wanting to move out, I decided against it, I didn't want to be the one that started anything, plus, it really wasn't any of my business.

"When do you go back to work?" He asked "Ah, In about four weeks, I think, depends on when they can find a new building, it's a little up in the air at the moment, I miss it though, I love working" I said "You seem like a worker" he said "Gee, thanks" I joked "No that kind of worker" He laughed "I mean you seem to know what you're doing, where you're going in life, you seem to know what you want Bella" he said "Well, I'm certain about lots of things but not all, I'm certain that I love my job because I'm good at it, I'm certain that I love my house, I'm certain that I love my girls, but there are lots of things that I still have no clue about" I explained "Like what?" he asked "Um, lets see" I said as I moved up a little and leaned up on my elbow to look at him, my hand still on his chest "Like, how to drive a manual car" I said "I can teach you that" He said and ran his hand down my back "Or how to make Lasagna" I added "I am an expert Lasagna maker" he said and I smiled "I'd like to learn how to play piano, can you teach me that?" I was testing him, "Actually, I can" he laughed "Well aren't you a know it all" I laughed too "Nah, not really, Mum made us kids take piano for years, I was the only one interested enough to stick with it, Emmett went onto play football and Jasper took up the guitar, dad made us all learn how to drive in a manual and my Aunty is a chef" He explained, "Well it seems as though you know where your life is going anyway Edward, I'm happy for you" I said and kissed the tip of his nose "I thought I had it all worked out, I thought I would be happy enough to go onto Medical School, study, become a surgeon like my dad, and then later, much later think about settling down and having a family, but then you walked into my life" He said and turned sideward facing me, his gaze inspected me, wagering within himself if he'd said the wrong thing, waiting to quash any negative reaction I had to his statement, "No, No way Edward, I will not be responsible for you changing the path that your on, It's not worth it, I'm not worth it" I said matter-of-factly "Whoa, whoa, Bella, Relax, I'm not going to change, I won't change what I've set out to do, I'm just saying that I have another factor to consider now" He explained "But Edward, I can't see any way around for us, It's all I've thought about" I said and lowered my head "Bella, There is always a way around, we just need to be a bit creative" He said and smiled "Creative you say?" I asked "Creative" he said and he moved his body closer to mine, his leg came up over my hip and I rolled so I was on my back, he hovered over me using his strong arms to support his weight, then he gently began to lower himself down onto me, he leant down closer now on his elbows, his forearms each side of my shoulders "Enough what if's tonight, we still have time, each day we can try to peel away at a solution, like I said before Bella, I need you, every day, in every way" He whispered into my ear.

There was nothing that compared to the feeling of his lips moving with mine, the instinctual manner to which we connected was nothing short of magic, his body held the rhythm while his lips marked the tempo, this was a waltz, not a Tango like day one or the Salsa we'd had for lunch, this time we weren't just having sex, we were making love.


	11. Chapter 11: Salvation

**Chapter 11**

**Salvation**

The days following Edwards' statement; that he now had more to consider with regards to the direction of his life; were both joyous and burdened. Each day we made sure we spent a little time discussing our predicament but were unable to come up with anything solid or realistic. The ideas that Edward kept coming up with all revolved around him delaying his studies, there was simply no way I was going to allow this to happen.

Ashamed as I was, the last time he'd suggested it I got up and abruptly left the suite, I was getting so frustrated and felt like I was in a constant state of despair, I knew Edward felt the same but being the gentleman he was he didn't allow it to get the better of him. I was such a monster.

"Bella, don't leave, I'm sorry" he pleaded; I kept walking and didn't even bother to close the glass door behind me. The others were outside on the balcony and were thrust into witnessing our first fight. Their conversations were silenced by my disgusting display, I was just so upset to think that he would think I would be Ok with that kind of solution, to me it wasn't a solution, it was a tragedy.

"Bella!" He called out from the doorway. I continued down the walkway towards the elevator. "Bella!" he called again as he followed me swiftly, almost jogging to reach me. "Edward, stop." I said looking right into his eyes. Other than most times I'd visited my mother, I couldn't think of any other time when I'd felt so angry. He stopped immediately leaving a good 3 meters between us "Bella, I'm sorry" He said and his pleading eyes almost broke my resolve. "Edward, I'll come back to you, but for now you need to let me go" I instructed "Ok" He breathed "Take all the time you need, I'll always be waiting for you" he said. His double meaning was like a kick in the guts, I felt terrible that I was hurting him but I needed to set up some boundaries and he needed to be aware that I was not the sort of woman who needed the man she loved to discard his dreams, I needed the exact opposite, I needed a man who was dependable and determined and as Independent as I was.

I walked out onto the street and up the road, I didn't have anywhere else to go and I'd unconsciously headed in the direction of the hotel where we'd shared our first kiss. I was startled by the guard when he spoke to me from just beyond the small gate. "Miss Bella, where's your Edward?" _My Edward, _he'd said, and he was. "Oh, you scared me" I said slightly flustered "I'm sorry, ma'am, are you looking for him?" He asked, "Ah, no, no, I'm just…." I started, then it came without warning, and suddenly I was consumed with a flood of emotions, it was physically evident that I was upset.

The guard came over to me and asked if I would like to go through and sit quietly for a little while, I was grateful and accepted his offer glad to be able to disappear from public view and be able to spend some time alone in the dark. "There is no guard inside tonight Miss Bella, it's just me" He assured "Thank you" I said and slipped through the gate.

I sat at the table where we had placed our clothes the other night and stared deeply into the water that had been so warm and inviting. I hadn't completely lost it but my vision was blurred by my tears nonetheless, I looked towards the spot under the bridge where I had rested my chin on his shoulder and wished that he was here for me to be able to it again but I knew my reasoning was just and I had to be cruel to be kind, at least that's what I told myself.

I sat motionless wallowing in the pity of it all, trying to think of a plan which would allow Edward and I to be together without compromising his future, I kept coming up blank, then out of the shadows I saw a figure appear, it ghosted over towards the other side of the pool, with only the distant streetlight for Illumination I was unable to make out who it was.

The figure paced up and down the other side of the pool deck like a caged tiger at a circus, it's ominous movements indicating it was looking straight at me. I felt it's penetrating glare but could not make contact with its source and although I felt like I should be afraid; I wasn't.

It made its final pass back down towards the end of the pool and I lost sight of the shadow as it moved behind the enormous tree that was situated near the stairs. I gazed for seconds into the darkness anxious but prepared, for something to be there like that at the same time I was made me remember my own life's mantra _'Everything happens for a reason'_. What I saw next could only be described as salvation.


	12. Chapter 12: Forgiveness & Ownership

**Chapter 12**

**Forgiveness and ownership**

"Forgive Me," Said the shadow taking me by surprise. My breath caught in my throat and a barely audible gasp escaped my lips. It only took me half a second then to realize that the voice, with its soft velvet undertones, was Edward's.

I lurched up off of my seat and into his loving embrace. "How did you find me?" I whispered "The guard has my number, he called me when he'd seen you were wondering around alone" he explained, "Here, I thought you might need this" he said somberly and held out my jacket "I was worried you might be cold" he continued.

"Edward, I'm sorry" I said and looked up at him "I know, it's ok" he said "You've been so calm through out this last week and a half, I've just felt as though I've had to do the worrying for both of us, and there's only so much of the angst I can take, I lashed out and I'm sorry" I explained "You're right Bella, I've left you alone in this, it was wrong and immature to have expected that everything would just work out, you're a far stronger person than me, we'd been going round and round in circles and we weren't getting anywhere, it just seemed like the easiest way" He said, "The easiest way is not always the best, but I forgive you Edward" I said, "You're only human".

Edward brought his hand up to my face; the familiar feeling of his warm palm against my cheek was like coming home again, I closed my eyes melting into his touch. "Bella, I have a confession to make" he whispered, "What is it?" I asked and looked earnestly into his eyes, even though there was little light they looked like they were glowing. "When you told me I was your first, I felt honored, what I didn't tell you was that you were mine"

It felt like heart was about to beat it's way out of my chest. This adorable, beautiful man had just confessed his previous abstinence, _how on earth was that possible? _I thought. "Edward, see, that just proves it, we are as strong as one another, we will survive this, we were meant for one another" I declared and we kissed.

I broke the kiss suddenly fueled with the desire to lighten the mood and said "You know that means I own you now" "Yeah, I know" he chuckled "But you already did so do with me what you will, but I suggest we go back first" He said, his words laced thickly with need. "Agreed" I said thinking about the guard.

Ownership does have it's privileges, there's a lot to be said for make up sex and all of it is good, I had shown Edward by leaving that I was not going to tolerate his way of thinking and after round two I was suddenly struck with clarity.

"Edward, I know what we have to do, we both know it," I said as I rolled over in his arms to face him. "Tell me" he said, "It's simple, really, I don't know why I'd not thought of it before" I said "I'm dying here Bella, tell me!" he pressed "Before I say anything you'll have to listen the whole way through, no baulking at the idea just because it sounds hard" I instructed, I felt his body tense "Bella, no" he said and the look in his eyes were pleading "Wait, you haven't heard what it is yet, it's the most logical solution" I encouraged "Ok, I'll listen" he relented

I put my hand on his face in an effort to soothe him from what I was going to say. "Two nights from now, when it's my time to leave, I'm going to go home and sort out my job. I got a text from my boss saying that they've found a new place and we can start back next week and tomorrow when you leave I want you to get home, spend some quality time with your family, get yourself set up in Seattle and start Univers…."

He didn't let me finish "Bella, you make it sound so simple, do you really think it's going to be possible for me to concentrate knowing you're on the other side of the world?" He asked slightly irritated. "Edward, there's no other way, we've exhausted all other options, I can't go back with you tomorrow and you can't come back with me, we actually have no choice" I explained.

Edward laid there unmoving, silently acknowledging that he knew what I had said was the only way, his eyes welled up with tears and it took all of my strength to remain strong for him and not succumb to my own emotions.

"Edward, will you promise me something? And I'll promise you something in return." I asked gently stroking his face. "He nodded simply unable to speak, the logic of it had set in and it was obvious and painful "I promise you that tonight will NOT be our last night altogether, I love you Edward, but I need you to promise me that you will use the next few weeks to get the things in your life sorted to a degree in which we can work with, If I don't know what your schedules are and what is involved in your study then…."I trailed off "Then what?" He asked "Then…. how do you possibly expect me to move in with you?" I said with a relieved smile.

I had kept my thoughts about this to myself until I was certain this is what Edward wanted and needed. His eyes lit up with elation, his tears of sorrow became tears of joy and through the torrent he smiled the most beautiful relieved smile, it warmed my heart so much so I thought I would burst.

My love for this man was unending. He kissed me slowly at first, silently thanking me with each touch of his lips, each movement of his hands over my body telling me he was mine and mine alone, each intimate motion of his hips against me affirming I was his, claiming me and coveting me, daring anyone to test his devotion to me, I had relieved him, ensuring his future and he let me know how grateful he was that night, over and over again.

When Edward had interrupted me earlier and began to protest at my idea I knew that in order for Edward to succeed in and even just commence his studies I would need to sacrifice everything that I knew, my job, my home, my friends and my country.

It wasn't a difficult decision to make, in fact it was probably the easiest one I'd ever had to make, I was willing and happy to do this for him, after all, it wouldn't be long before Alice and Rose would find someone of their own and begin to settle down, they would eventually move out leaving me alone and I wouldn't blame them but I would be alone, again.

After I'd left home when I was eighteen I'd felt so alive and free but then after a while I began to feel as though there was a piece of me that didn't quite fit anymore, like a trodden on puzzle piece that you could never get back in.

When I'd made the decision about moving in with Edward in my head it felt as though that bent and broken piece just slid right back into place but it didn't go back onto mine, it fell into the hazy unclear puzzle I'd been mentally constructing of him each day, it was then that I realized that mine didn't exist anymore and that this puzzle depicted the future story of our lives.

From his inability to come up with a viable solution I knew that Edward was someone I would have to tread very carefully with, his early childhood had left a permanent mental scar and even though he'd said he'd had a great up bringing it was evident that he was easily prone to anxiety over loss.

The fear that someone he loved would leave him was crushing, he had more or less told me this on our first morning together, his words when I'd told him I'd fallen in love with him were '_I can't see myself going back from this, I wouldn't be able to function in a world where you didn't exist._'

I worried heavily that in my absence he would retract from his life, I wasn't being conceited when I'd thought about all of that, I knew the hold he had on my own life and I knew it was the same the other way around.

We'd slept peacefully in each other's arms that night, and when the sun began to rise Edward woke me up gently and suggested we go out onto the balcony to watch it.

This was going to be our last morning together for at least a month and we didn't want to spend a second of it apart. He sat down on our lounge and I sat in between his outstretched legs, he wrapped a thin blanket around us and held me against him so firmly, I laid back onto him reveling in his strong embrace.

"This all just feels so backward, Bella, it doesn't feel right, 'The girl doesn't chase the boy' as my mum always says, I don't want you to feel as though you have to do this, this is a huge step for you, it's totally life changing, I feel so selfish being happy about it" He said

"Don't feel anything but happy, I'm my own person remember, I make my own decisions, I always have and I always will, I want to do this for us" I said and he squeezed me just a little tighter.

"Listen, make no mistake Edward, this will be equally as hard on me as it is for you, but I love you and I won't let anything stand in your way. If that means moving then so be it, I work in admin, I can get a job anywhere, this is not a great departure for me" I said reassuring him. "I love you" He whispered, "I love you too, Edward" I replied.

Blessedly time went slow that morning, we got up after a while and got ready for the day. It was going to be the hardest day of my life so far; even with everything I'd endured growing up this would still top the list and for Edward, this was going to break his heart.


	13. Chapter 13: Punishment

**Chapter 13**

**Punishment**

It had become mid morning, I left Edward to pack up his things and went back into my old room to see the girls. When I walked through the suite they were sitting having breakfast at the kitchen bench.

"Good Morning stranger, how you doin?" Asked Alice "Ok, for now" I replied. I walked around and into the kitchen and began making a coffee. When it was made I leaned on the counter now opposite them and sipped away at my drink.

Alice and Rose both looked at me warily "Stop looking at me like I'm going to shatter guys" I said "Sorry Bells, what can we do?" Asked Alice "Nothing, I'll be ok" I said deflated. "Well, the way I see it Bella is that we have two choices" started Rose, "A: We let you wallow in sadness and be there for you when you need us or B: Which I think is a more productive suggestion, spend our last night here, with you, in the spa, hogging it, not letting anyone else in, eating and drinking those special cocktails that come in a real cocoanuts and you can tell us what you've planned, because if we know you at all Isabella Swan, and we do, you have one"

"I do, there is a plan so yes, that sounds nice later, but I need to get through today and I may need you both to get me through tonight." I admitted. I loved the way Rose didn't tread carefully around me when I was upset, she always lifted me up and made me feel better, she was going to have to bring her A Game today though.

"I wish I knew what you were feeling" Said Alice "I've never experienced anything like what we've witnessed with you and Edward these last two weeks, I didn't think attraction like that really existed" she said

"Seriously, Alice and I have been having a great time with the boys" Started Rose "But even they can't comprehend what's happened, Jasper made the comment that one minute he had a brother who was alone and not open to ever having a relationship with anyone and then within less than a week after us arriving here he's moving into another room with you, he was shocked"

"Shocked? In a good way or bad way? I asked "Oh he was freakin elated!" Exclaimed Rose "He said Emmett and him had tried to set him up so many times but he'd always find some excuse to back out of it, and their mother, she's over the moon"

"His mother knows about us?" I asked "Aha, Emmett phoned her last week to tell her that Edward was having fun, he said that this was one of the main requests she had of them was to make sure he had fun before he started Uni, he didn't let on about too much only to say that they had met us and Edward had started to hang out with you more than them, he didn't go into any detail, I listened in on the call myself, I even spoke to her, she sounded lovely" Revealed Rose "Well, that's good to know, it's definitely going to make things easier" I said

"Easier for what?" Asked Alice suspiciously "I'll tell you later, I'm gonna go see if Edward needs any help, I'll see you's in a bit" I said and rinsed out my cup.

I opened the door to our room and walked inside, I could hear Edward talking on the phone in our room so I walked to the door and leant against the frame. He was sitting on the bed and he looked up and me and outstretched his arm, I walked over and stood next to him placing my arm on his shoulders, he wrapped his arm around my waist still talking and looked up at me.

"Mum, she's just come in, did you want to say hello?" He spoke into the phone. I felt my body stiffen and was suddenly terrified, he held the phone up for me to take it "What if she doesn't like me?" I whispered, "What's not to like? Remember?" he said dazzling me with his smile and quoting me from the week before.

I took the phone and held it to my ear "Hello, Mrs. Cullen, I'm Bella" I said nervously. Edward's smile grew wider; he was brimming with what looked like pride. "Bella, my dear, I didn't think Edward was ever going to let me talk to you, it's nice to finally get the chance" She said, "Yeah, it's nice to talk to you too" I said politely, "Has my boy been having fun?" She asked "Yes your boy has been having fun" I said back to her for Edward's benefit, he rolled his eyes and I smiled and ruffled his hair "Well that's good. Bella, Edward tells me that you're going home tomorrow" she said, "That's right, we leave tomorrow" I said, the sadness in my voice was undeniable, I touched my hand to Edward's face and ran my thumb over his cheek as I spoke to soothe him.

"Well instead of leaving tomorrow why don't you come back with Edward?" She asked nicely but was blunt, "I'd love to Mrs. Cullen but I have some stuff I have to sort out first. Has Edward mentioned anything to you about what our plans are?" I asked, it was a heady question as I didn't know if he wanted his mum to know just yet, "He hasn't gone into much detail, he likes to keep me in the dark so that's why I've had to go to the source" she chuckled "He's a fickle thing isn't he?" I joked and pinched his cheeks. "You're not wrong there" said his mum,

Edward grabbed my hand and bit my thumb, "Oww!" I mouthed and he let go, "You're so naughty" He whispered, _Oh my God he's doing this now? _I thought, "So what are your plans?" she asked "I'm going to come over in about a month or so once Edward is settled in Seattle, but I won't come if doesn't behave" I said in a pretend irritated way looking at him with raised eyebrows.

He had successfully untied my robe and his hand was roaming all over my back and down into my pants firmly coping a feel of my butt, "What ever do you mean Bella?" She asked, "Mrs. Cullen" I started to say but it was difficult because Edward was now fully inside my pants, I decided I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of winning so I tried very hard to remain as calm and non conflicted as I could "We have to work together, you and I, your son is very stubborn, so I'm going to need you to do me a favor," I asked

"What do you need me to do?" She asked, "I need you to make sure that he follows his plans and does exactly what he would have done if we'd never met," I said and I felt Edward's fingers still, he looked up at me with a horrified expression, this time he had thought the worst.

I leant down and gave him a quick but impassioned open-mouthed kiss to dispel anything he may have misconstrued in my words and held the phone out away from my ear.

"Bella? Bella, are you there?" she called out "Yes I'm here" I said and stood back up, Edward relaxed and his fingers continued to tease me. "You're not going to break my son's heart are you?" she asked seriously "No, not at all Mrs. Cullen, just the opposite, I'm hoping I can mend it." I said and I knew she would then understand that Edward had told me about his past. "I'm going to do what I need to do at home and then I can come over and we're going to share the apartment in Seattle,"

"Honey, we've waited so long for Edward to find someone, he rarely ever dated and he's such a…Gen" "Gentleman" I said before she did "You already know him, I'm happy for you both" she said sincerely "Thank you, it will be nice when we actually meet Mrs. Cullen, say hello to your husband for me" I said "I will dear. Can I speak with my son again?" she asked, "Sure, here he is" I said and passed him the phone.

Edward hadn't been playing nice and now that I had both hands free I was going to make him pay. I pushed him down onto the bed so he was on his back, he struggled to speak on the phone, and his mum was a talker so this would be fun.

"No, mum I've already tired, she says I'm stubborn…yeah alright I know…" I had undone his shorts and I reefed them down off of his legs, then I did the same with this underwear, his was already erect and I had sprung him like a trap, his head flopped back onto the bed but his phone was still in the same position where he had held it.

I gently grabbed him with both hands and bend my head down over him, he was delectable and the mixture of salt and man made eager and impatient, he was so warm and he smelt so good "Mum, I gotta go speak to you later" he said pressed end on the phone.

He laced his fingers into my hair but didn't push; I raced a hand up under his shirt and fingered his nipple, my other hand holding him in place, aiding my mouth in brining him closer and closer.

I really didn't fancy another mouthful so I raised my head and he sat up instantly, he hurriedly ripped off his shirt as I disrobed, he tore at the straps of my nightie and they broke, I let it cascade down my body and fall to my feet.

He stood up and bent me over the bed "Bella, what did I tell you? You've been so bad" he whispered. "Edward" I breathed as he held me down onto the bed with his hand on my back, he was firm but fair, he used his foot against mine to spread my legs apart making me exposed and well positioned.

He grabbed a hold of himself and stroked me up and down making sure he was in good stead, "Edward" I breathed again. "Please" I begged. He then did something, which I didn't see coming from him, he withdrew his hand and slammed it down on my ass at the same time plunging himself deep into me stealing away the pain of his scolding.

I had to reach out and grab something, he was taking me like he'd never taken me before, he was rough and vocal and dominant and it took all of my will to try and not be too loud.

His muscular legs were working over time; they propelled his hips hard and fast, his hands gripped my hips tightly making my body meet hard against his with each of his urgent thrusts. "Edward" I moaned, and I could feel I was nearing the end. I couldn't help it then, I didn't want to, I cried out his name, and he cried out mine. His incredible punishment was over and I resolved with myself to be naughtier more often.


	14. Chapter 14: Lifeline

**Reviews are welcomed with open arms... xx**

**14. Lifeline**

When it was all over Edward stood me up and his eyes were exuberant, he smiled and pulled me into the bathroom and turned my naked frame around in front of the mirror so I could see his handiwork, he was chuckling.

"Oh dear" he said and put his hand over his mouth, he was still laughing, "Hmm, I won't be forgetting this in a while" I said amused "Does it hurt?" he asked rubbing his hand over it, "A little, you'd better kiss it better" I said "You want me to kiss your ass Bella?" he laughed "Yeah, I do, it's your fault" I said with a smirk "Ok, come here then" he said and turned on the shower.

We washed ourselves quickly getting the task done and rinsed each other clean, "Bella, my love, how are we going to do this? I can't keep my hands off of you already and it's only early" He said as his hands covered my breasts, I placed my hands on his hips and pulled him closer to me "I don't know anymore Edward, I don't know if I can let you go, I thought I was strong enough but I'm not, I'm not strong" I admitted "Then don't, don't let me go, don't make me leave you" he said looking down at me.

He was right, it had been my decision; I had made the suggestion and sold the idea as necessity, he had bought it and had trusted me that I was right but as our time together was drawing to a close the line between right and wrong was becoming blurred.

"Bella, I know myself, I know I won't be able to do what I have to do when I get back if I'm alone now, you have changed me so completely, my life will have no meaning if you're not there to share it" He explained "Edward I…" I wanted to tell him I would go back with him but I knew it would just delay the inevitable; eventually I would still have to go home to pack up my life.

"Bella, what do you have to do when you go back?" he asked, I didn't know where he was going with this, "Well, I'll have to give two weeks notice at work and then I'll have to try and sell my house and my car but I can't leave the girls without somewhere to live" I replied "Sell your car that's all you'll need for now, let the girls stay in the house while you put it on the market, you don't need to be there for the sale, the girls can look for somewhere to live in the meantime" He said "Now you're making things sound so simple" I said "But they are Bella. I've been doing some thinking of my own, I appreciate that you took on the burden of making the decision we have, and I know it's the most logical idea, but what's been logical about us since we met?" he asked

"Edward…" I started "Just hold on Bella, let me finish" he said and placed his finger on my lips "I'm not leaving today princess, I'm going back with you tomorrow, if you're going to pack up your life to be with me then the least I can do is help" He stated emphatically.

"Thank you" Was all I said as I looked up at him relieved. I had found my lifeline and it felt like a great weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, the knowledge that we both wouldn't be parted was liberating.

"No arguments this time?" he queried "No, you're right, this is a better solution and if I'm honest with you then I'll admit in the back of my mind this is selfishly what I had wanted to suggest in the first place but I needed to make sure that you had enough time to get settled to start your study's. Sticking to the decision has almost killed me, I didn't think about it in terms of how I was making you feel though, and you were right about another thing, I was making you leave me, when all you really wanted to do was follow, I love you, I love you so much Edward"

Edward's capacity to show affection in every way was astonishing, he placed his hand gingerly upon where he'd left his handprint before and bent down to kiss it. "Better?" he asked, as he stood back upright, "Better" I said.

"We've got a busy day ahead of us then, we should get out and go and have breakfast with the others, I wonder how they will react. Will you be able to rebook your flight?" I asked "Already done, I wasn't going to take no for an answer, your determination is rubbing off on me" He said "I can think of something I'd like to have rub off on me" I said seductively.

He leant down to kiss me, I placed a hand on his firm buttocks and stroked him attentively with my other, after about half a minute he lifted me and held my body up against the shower wall, he positioned me skillfully over himself and immediately his body went to work.

Like an artist he began with soft, slow movements, sketching away at the outline, his actions became more pronounced and he began pounding away at me letting gravity do most of the hard work, I placed my hands on his shoulders to steady myself, his mouth hung open slightly taking in desperate ragged breaths and so was I.

Praise Goethe to the one who first discovered this position, it was one of the best so far in our growing repertoire. Edward leant his forehead on my shoulder as he made his last motion, his masterpiece complete as he finished filling in the details. He was in so deep and I was so fulfilled.


	15. Chapter 15: Payment

**15. Payment **

Out on the balcony, Jasper sat playing his guitar quietly while Emmett played on his phone.

"Morning." I said as I walked out.

"Hey, morning Bella, where's Edward?" asked Jasper.

"He's getting dressed. Are we all still going to go have breakfast together?" I asked as I sat down opposite him.

"Yeah, we were just waiting on the girls. Hey Bella-" he began and stopped playing, "has Edward been very- open with you?" he asked hesitantly.

"About what?

"About us, about his past, did he tell you we were adopted?" he asked quietly leaning in.

"Yes, he told me, including about when he was little, I'd hate to think there was more though." I said

"You know you're the first and only outsider he's ever told" he revealed.

"No, I didn't know that, although I can't imagine it would be something you would just tell anyone." I said.

"No, you're right, he must really love you, and really trust you, I can see you're not just anyone to him." he said.

"I believe he does, and I feel he trusts me, he's not just anyone to me either. I think he's hurting more than he lets on though." I said.

"We're sure he is, that's why we've left you guys alone so much here, we were hoping he'd open up to you more about It." he explained.

"He was very- calm when he'd explained what your mum had told him about it all, he said he didn't remember much of it himself, he did seem reluctant at first though like he was deciding if he should say anything at all but when he did he was calm. He didn't get upset but I could sense he wasn't far from it." I explained.

"I hate to say it Bella, but if you're going to love him, you're going to have to know…" he trailed off unsure if he should continue, he looked over at Emmett for agreement, Emmett nodded giving Jasper concurrence that he should continue, they were two loving brothers about to drop the bomb on their brother. I sat there unable to move as Jasper looked back at me and took in a deep breath.

"There is more…" he started but was interrupted when Edward stepped out of the room, he sat back up out of his lean and resumed playing as if nothing was said, before Edward got all the way over to us Jasper quickly leaned back in and whispered, "We'll talk later." I nodded once and brought my legs up on the seat.

"Morning." Edward said to his brothers as he came down to sit on the chair next to me. He pulled it over close and put his hand on my knee.

"Have you told them?" I whispered to Edward about his change of plans.

"No, I will now." he said and I placed my hand on top of his, his thumbs nervously moving against my knee.

"Ah guys, there's been a change in plans for me." he started.

"You've finally decided to become a gynecologist, good for you! Well done for turning him around Bella!" joked Emmett, we all laughed; the boys were both very quick witted.

"No dude, although…." he pretended to be in deep thought and put his fingers on his chin like the 'Thinker' statue, it was great to see him playing along. "no, seriously, I've decided that I'm going to go back with Bella and the girls tomorrow, only for a couple of weeks, then I'm going to bring Bella home with me." he said as we looked at each other. '_Home_' he'd said and my heart swelled.

"That's cool little bro, no worries, have you changed your flights and stuff?" asked Emmett.

"Yeah, it's all done, I'll call mum after breakfast. Are we still…" he trailed.

"Yeah we're just waiting on them." I said lifting my chin up towards Alice & Rosalie's room, "I'll go push them along." I continued and got up to go to the girls' suite. I opened the glass door and yelled inside; "Bitches be hungry! Let's go!" and I heard Jasper laugh, I walked back over and stood in front of Edward, he looked up at me and his eyes had grown darker.

"Language Bella." he whispered and placed his hand firmly on the sore spot on my behind, "careful now." he threatened and although it had somewhat hurt before I now longed for it, I looked down at him and swallowed hard, his threat had elicited my hunger again, I couldn't help myself and wanted to see how far I could push him, I turned my head around and yelled out "For fuck sake girls hurry up!" I felt Edward's hand squeeze hard on my cheek and it burned. I looked back down at him and gave him a wink telling him that I was ok with it and wanted it, badly.

He stood up, "We'll meet you guys down there," he said looking at Emmett, and grabbed my arm firmly and lead me back towards our room. He opened the door and pulled me inside. I knew I was in for it and my heart thumped fast in anticipation.

He slammed the door closed and pulled off his shirt; he stepped up to me making me step back up against the small square dining table, he undid my shorts and slid his hand down into my bikini underneath. Without hesitation his fingers found my pulse and he began priming me, I stood there, trapped between him, the table and my shorts and I wished he would just pull them off. His mouth moved hungrily against mine, famished and without caution, he continued to rub before granting me my wish; they came off as did my bikini and were tossed aside like the vile restrictions they were. In one swift movement he swiped his hand across the table clearing it of everything that was on it, his wallet and papers and placemats barely hit the floor before he lifted me onto the now cleared surface, he pulled my lips to his again and I knotted my fingers into his hair, his fingers began to unbutton the white cotton blouse I had on and when undone they too were thrown aside.

Completely naked now, Edward's lips attacked my neck as his hands found my breasts; each firm compression had me aching for more. I wrapped one hand around his neck pulling him closer as my other one began trying to unbutton his shorts, it was a skill I had become very good at but his hand dropped and stopped me from trying to unleash him, I was puzzled.

"There'll be no swear jars in our house," he said "but if you're naughty you'll still have to pay." Seductively, he moved my hand down over him and I felt him hard and throbbing from the outside of his shorts, he really was punishing me and I felt berated. He gently motioned me back so I was lying on the table and leant over me pressing himself up against my own throbbing part, he slid my body forward slightly and lifted my legs up so my feet rested on the table, his hands slid down my inner thighs and held them apart. "Stay very still, don't move." He said as he disappeared from my view. Blissfully I was reunited with him as his tongue swepped across my aching core. My head was spinning as my body reacted to his actions rebelling to his instructions, suddenly he stopped.

"Edward." I breathed.

"Behave and I'll continue." he said and trailed kisses down my thigh. _'Don't move' _he'd said so I stilled myself in abeyance. He resumed and it took all of my will to remain motionless. My labored breaths told Edward I was close to the end and it spurred him on in a more quickened fashion, then, without warning he was gone again.

"No, Edward, don't stop-" I cried.

He stood up and pulled me upright, he kissed my shoulder tenderly and he stroked my hair, I rested my head on his chest and could hear his heart pounding wildly, he'd gotten as much out of this as I had. He placed his hands along each side of my face and stroked my cheeks with his thumbs. He kissed me, sharing me with myself and I remembered when he'd done the same.

He ended the kiss and looked at me. He was smirking.

"Next time you'll to listen to me." he said.

"Well what if I promise to behave now?" I asked playing along.

"Rewards are earn't, if you promise to be good for the rest of the day I may have a surprise for you later." he said.

"Then I promise." I said smirking now too.

He helped me off of the table and he picked up my clothes, I redressed and he put his shirt back on before disappearing into the bathroom. I loved this side of him, I loved the unpredictability and I loved his brand of punishment, although I really did wish he had let me finish. He had made me forget that Jasper had started telling me there was more and the thought of it made my heart ache, Edward could make me forget my own name, I didn't know how I was going to get to speak to the boys alone before they left that afternoon but I knew it was important so I quickly stepped outside and called Rose.

"Hi, Rose, hey we'll be down very soon but I need you and Alice to do something for me after breakfast." I asked.

"Sure, what?" she asked.

"I need to speak to Emmett and Jasper alone before they go, can you guys take Edward like, for a walk or something, pretend to give him the third degree over our relationship or some shit like that, I'll only need a half hour tops.' I asked.

"Sounds do-able, no worries, now stop fucking around and get down here!' she exclaimed.

"Hey bitch we had to wait for you two first!" I said laughing.

"What-ever!" she kidded.

Edward came outside to meet me, his hair tamed and he smelt minty fresh, his cologne though was just him and I knew it anywhere.

"What are you doing outside, what's wrong?" he asked smiling.

"Nothing, lets go." I said and we headed to the elevator.


	16. Chapter 16: Dropping the bomb

16. Dropping the bomb

Breakfast was pleasant, it was the first time in a while since we'd all sat together and it was nice.

"Edward's coming back with us tomorrow, hope you guys don't mind, it's just for a couple of weeks." I said to Rose and Alice.

"Really? Cool, how come? I mean apart from the obvious." asked Alice.

"Well, we've come to a compromise. When Edward goes back home- I'm going to go back with him." I said.

"What exactly does that mean Bella?" Asked Rose.

"It means I'm moving, we're going to live together in Seattle and Edward can start his studies as planned, with me." I said looking at him at the end. He stroked my cheek.

"Bella, you're leaving? You're going to quit your job? Sell your house? I'm sorry but shit, what happens to Alice and I, you could have given us some notice, you're kinda robbing us of a home" asked Rose.

"It's ok Rose, I'm not selling the house, you guys can still live there, I am quitting my job though and I am sorry about the short notice but everything has just happened so fast for us. You should be feeling sorry for me, I was the one who was robbed!" I said once again looking at Edward at the end and giving his knee a playful squeeze. He smiled knowing I was joking; he was learning my sense of humor.

"Robbed? What do you mean?" asked Rose smiling, she was relieved.

"This one stole my heart, he's a master thief, I feel so violated." I said trying hard to keep a straight face.

"I bet you do! We've hardly seen you in the last two weeks, Edward you should be ashamed of yourself!" said Rose playfully.

"You can blame a man for wanting to keep this one to himself." he said this time winking at me. I felt alive.

"Ahh, get a room you two" said Jasper pretending to be revolted by our exchanges.

"Oh we have one, and speaking of…." Edward trailed off looking at me; he leant in to give me a sweet little kiss. I had officially turned into goo.

"Hold that though baby, you need to call your mum." I reminded him.

"And then Alice and I are taking you for a walk, Edward." said Rose with authority.

"Should I be scared?" he asked them.

"No. And yes." said Alice standing up "C'mon little brother."

"I guess it's me going for a walk this time." he said and kissed my forehead.

"Hurry back, I'll meet you upstairs." I said and he nodded. Alice pulled him along with her arm in his, he looked back at me with mock terror, I laughed at his willingness to play along but when he was out of site I turned towards Jasper and Emmett and suggested we head back upstairs. When we got there Jasper began where he'd left off earlier that morning.

"You said there's more?" I asked

"Yeah, there is and we're not sure if he knows yet." he explained.

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't he know?" I asked.

"Because mum had just told us before we left, and it's something she's hidden from him, she hasn't told him the whole story." he said and my posture became irrationally defensive.

"Before you get angry with anyone, believe me when I tell you it's been for his own good, ok?" he asked seeing that I was on the defense. I nodded unable to speak.

"We'd all been noticing a change in his behavior, over the last year or so, he'd become withdrawn and rarely went anywhere with us or by himself or anyone else, he would just study, for hours and hours and when he did join us he was happy but not happy like he had been or happy like men our age are, you know, he would never speak to a girl and never want to go out with any of our friends- we suspect it may be some kind of repressed memory thing and it's all slowly coming back to him, he puts on a good show, does this make any sense to you?" he asked.

"Well I haven't noticed anything much, to be honest we don't really know each other very well yet, at least not well enough for me to be able to see a difference. When he'd told me about it all last week he'd said he'd made his peace with it but that it still haunts him, maybe he was trying to tell me something but I didn't know what to listen for. He also got quite upset when I had first suggested he go back with you both as planned, I think he fears being abandoned, makes me so sad for him." I said.

"Bella, you love him right?" he asked.

"Irrevocably." I said

"Then it really pains me to tell you this because when we were told it crushed us, I'm sorry to make you feel the same way, but you will…" said Jasper and he had started to tear up.

"Edward wasn't just tortured and bashed by his dad, he was physically abused and the bastard's about to be let out of jail," said Jasper. "We're going to have to tell him but not now, when he's back home, so we're glad he's going back with you now, at least it will give us time at home to figure out what the best move will be.

Emmett had been silent throughout, he came over and sat next to Jasper and put his hand on his shoulder. Emmett's face was serious and he was visibly upset also.

My mind went blank, I looked at the boys as they looked at me and I felt my own tears falling onto my hands as they rested in my lap. Then Emmett spoke kindly but firmly to me looking straight into my eyes, "Do not break my brother's heart."

"I won't." I whispered sincerely.


	17. Chapter 17: Restlessness

**17. Restlessness **

I had purposely remained on my best behavior all day and, as promised, I was rewarded. Edward the gentle seducer was back and his dominant alter ego put to bed, so to speak. The day had gone from one of sorrow, when we woke and were still on the first decision, to elation, when we'd made our compromise and back to sorrow when I'd learned of the secret being kept from him about his past. I felt burdened by knowing it when he did not, yet happy that his brother's understood our relationship enough to warrant telling me.

It wasn't a drawn out farewell to the boys, we waited with them in the foyer as the driver loaded their bags into the mini-van and they hugged us and left. The girls were a bit teary though, as they had all said before, they had enjoyed each others company, and more, but I knew my friends enough to know that they had grown attached and I could see that the boys had grown to feel the same. Their futures were their own and I didn't dwell on the wonderings of what it would hold for them, I had my own future to think about.

I had exchanged numbers with Emmett and Jasper up on the balcony and had agreed for them to pass my number on to their mother. It was like I'd been pulled into a secret circle but this sphere unlike my own world did not include Edward and it felt like I was betraying him by simply knowing.

Edward and I took the girls to dinner and discussed some of the finer points of our arrangement like packing and what I'm taking with me etc. but the girls weren't going to be living any differently really to how we were all living before and they had started to discuss the possibility of having someone come and share the house to fill the gap in rent I would be leaving. I was happy that they had accepted this all so well; it allowed me to enjoy the move, and Edward, guilt free.

As each day must, this one was drawing to an end and we left each other on the balcony and escaped to our own rooms. We packed up our bags ready to leave mid morning for the airport and sat on the lounge to watch an episode of The Walking Dead, it was the one where Lori dies giving birth. Edward's was expression was strangely serious while he watched it, unlike mine which was tear stained from the sadness of it, I had been laying with my head on his lap when he looked down and tucked my hair around my ears and wiped my silly tears away with his thumb.

"I'd never let anything like that happen to you." He said out of the blue.

"Don't be silly, it's just a show and I'm a crier." I said.

"Bella, I mean it, I will never let anything hurt you, it's my job to protect you." He said very sternly.

"Edward." I said as I sat up now worried, "what's brought this on?" I asked.

"I've not been sleeping well these last few nights, I'm just tired I guess, but I do mean it though, I can't lose you like he did." He said and pointed to the T.V.

"Baby listen, you said to me before that you need me, right?" I asked.

"Yes, I do." He said.

"You must know then that I need you too, don't think about things that are out of your control, focus on the things you can, like us, what we have is controllable and unbreakable, I'm in for the long haul and I need you to be there with me." I said.

"You're right, I just don't feel myself lately, I feel so needy all the time, it must be wearing you down." He said.

"No, I've not noticed, I love it how you express your emotions and your feelings, I don't ever want you to change." I said.

"I just don't know what's wrong, I didn't tell the others because they'd just tell mum and she'd keep calling me every fucking five min-" he trailed off realizing he'd sworn, this was the first time I'd heard him do so in the whole 2 weeks we'd known each other. He got up and put his hand to his head.

"Bella, I don't feel so good, can we go to bed?" He asked.

"Of course, c'mon I'll help you get changed, do you want me to call a doctor?" I asked.

"No, I don't feel sick, I just feel light headed, I'll be fine in the morning."

"Ok." I said and helped him to get out of his clothes and into his boxers. I did love how he needed me and how he wasn't afraid to ask for help, I loved being able to coddle him and comfort him and it gave me hope that he would let me help him through the tough times that were ahead of him. I just hoped that when he found out I knew the secret before he did that he wouldn't push me away, I feared that more than anything else I had ever feared in my entire life.

A life now without Edward would simply not be a life I would want to live. Distance was what was required now as set out by the imminent release of his biological father, and time, time for the others to work out a plan on how to tackle things when we arrived home, I'd asked Emmett why he actually had to be told and he said it was because this monster had been making threats against the Cullen's for about the last twelve years which is why they moved to such a small town, he'd found out by a crooked guard who had adopted his son. At the time it had been a well-known case and information wasn't kept nearly as confidential as it is these days, it was hard to get my head around the thought that this was really happening, I'd only ever heard of such things in the movies and had never been thrust into anything so frightening at my own door. That night had been the worst so far as Edward tossed and turned and woke up every few hours, I hadn't been able to sleep at all and when we had left the hotel and got into the mini-van the next morning he wrapped his arm around me and apologized.

"You're so tired aren't you?" he asked.

"I am but it's ok, I have a job too you know." I said as I cuddled into his side.

"I'm sorry, make sure you sleep on the plane." He said.

"I will."

We got to the airport and were seated onto the aircraft, I had the window seat and Edward was right beside me, how he managed to change his flight and get the seat next to mine was beyond me, I didn't care though, I meant I could sleep knowing he was next to me and I hoped he would drift off too. The girls sat on the other side of the aisle and when it was time to take off Rose leant over to Edward and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hold her hand, she hates this part."

"Thanks." He said and Rose was right, I hated taking off and landing but loved everything in between. He held my hand as we took off and when airborne he smoothed out my fingers with his and gave me his soft comfy jumper to rest my head on. I took it and he leaned in to kiss me, pressing my head down against my seat then sat up and positioned his jumper just under my face, I nestled into it breathing him in and he stroked my head urging me to close my eyes. I did and the vision of him slowly faded into blackness.


	18. Chapter 18: Exploring our surroundings

**18. Exploring our surroundings**

I had slept for most of the flight; I felt Edward's head resting next to mine firmly leaning up against my forehead and it was a lovely feeling. I reached up and gently stoked his face as he stirred.

"Sorry to wake you." I said as he moved to sit up. He rubbed his eyes and I could tell he was still very tired.

"No it's ok, looks like we're nearly ready to land, did you sleep ok?"

"Yeah I feel pretty good now, glad you got some rest in too, looks like you could do with some more though." I said.

"No I'm ok." he lied. He looked exhausted.

"Excuse me, do you mind pulling up your shade, we're about to land." asked the flight attendant kindly, I did it and it was very bright, I had to squint for a few seconds but when I got use to it I looked out the window and saw that we were over land and descending gradually towards the Gold Coast.

"Bella" Alice called over to me. "You ok?" she asked but was really prompting me for landing without saying it, this part always freaked me out worse than taking off.

"Thanks." I mouthed to her and Edward took my hand again, he leaned over and kissed me, our fingers interlocked and I closed my eyes. I didn't really notice we had landed, it was such a smooth touchdown and Edward's kiss had made me forget I was anxious. Edward's kiss always made me forget everything.

The next hour or so consisted of us getting our bags and driving home. I had originally driven us to the airport in my car when we had left and paid for long-term parking and even with Edward's additional bag it all still fit in the boot of my Volvo. I drove while the girls sat in the back allowing Edward to sit next to me and admire the scenery of my hometown, I took the beach road and he marveled at the view.

"Why on Earth did you girls go to Bali when you live here." he asked amazed.

"Bali is different, I bet you're glad we did though, right." asked Rose.

"Definitely." he said and placed his hand on my leg, I glanced over at him and he chuckled. He was a devil.

"Ok, time to find the highway." I said suddenly in a hurry to get home.

We arrived home and unpacked and the girls had arranged to go to dinner with our other friends so that left just the two of us alone in my house but it felt strange, it didn't feel like my house anymore, I thought about it and realized it was because I'd already detached myself from it through my decision to leave.

"Hey, why don't you have a shower and get some more sleep in, you still look worn out." said Edward as he stood behind me in the laundry. "These clothes can wait."

"Yeah I might, but I won't sleep just yet." I said.

"Good." he said as he began to unbutton my shirt.

"I do remember how to undress myself." I said.

"I know, I just do it so much better." he said cheekily. I touched his hands at the fifth button and he looked at me with the same puzzled expression I'd had the day before during my punishment. I pushed him back up against the washing machine undid his shorts and eased them and his underwear down, he stepped out of them and I dropped to my knees. I had to admit it, I loved this, I loved the reaction I got from him every time I took him and I praised myself at my ability to take almost all of him at once, yes, I was conceited about it but there's nothing wrong with that. Edward's hands were placed on my head as he looked down at me and I looked up at him, he was almost there and I pulled away.

"No, please Bella don't." he pleaded.

"Payback's a bitch." I said standing up to walk out of the laundry. I was the devil now. I got about two steps away and looked back at him, he hadn't moved and his exasperated expression was my undoing. I turned and plunged my mouth back down onto him; the few moments or so of deferred stimulation only made him react quicker and stronger but he thankfully pulled out in time to ice the cake- my chest being the cake, he knew I was no longer a fan of icing.

"You- you are one of a kind Bella Swan! How did I get so lucky?" he asked as I stood up.

"Mmm, lucky me I'd say." I said looking down at my shirt, we both laughed, "I need that shower now." I chuckled and we started for the bathroom.

He started the water but then his phone rang.

"I'll be back in a minute." he said and went to answer the call. He wasn't gone long and when I asked him who it was he said there was no-one there, he said that it was the third call like that he'd had since yesterday. He got in and I forget about it as soon as he started nibbling at my ear. _God this man knows his stuff_, I thought.

After I'd finished and changed I suggested we go out for dinner and I took him to Aura, which was located in the heart of Broadbeach's vibrant dining and entertainment precinct, we soaked up the wonderful sights and sounds of the suburb by night and after, we walked to Cold Rock where they smash your choice of lollies, chocolates, fruits or nuts right into what ever flavor ice cream you want in front of you on a frozen slab, we then walked down Victoria Avenue towards the beach and stood by the railing to watch the waves rolling in on the high tide. Edward commented on how much he already liked it here and asked me if I would be sad to leave it behind.

"It's not going anywhere babe, and if I miss it too much we can always come back for a holiday," I said, "besides, who wants to look at this- when I can look at this." I said placing my hand on his face.

"Nicely done Bella," he mused "but you're not giving anything away, I can see how much you like it here, I promise we can come back anytime you want." he said.

"Thanks, but that's not entirely true, you're forgetting that you're going to be locked out of life for the next hundred years during your study, I would imagine the premedical course you did to get in will have nothing on what you'll be in for when you start." I jested seriously.

"True, although I don't think it will take quite that long and anyway, I don't need a life outside of you, as long as you're there when I get home each day it won't matter how long it takes."

"You paint a nice picture baby, and it sounds wonderful, but after time you're going to want more than me." I said.

"Gah! You're such a realist, thank goodness for you though, you balance me out, I told you I need you." he said smiling.

"You're just a hopeless romantic and I love you, I hope you will always need me." I said and stretched up on my toes to kiss him.

We got home and it was just after 9:30pm, we changed and relaxed with each other on the lounge watching episodes I had of The Big Bang Theory, it was a delight to hear Edward laughing, sometimes I thought he reminded me of Leonard when he would talk of his future in medicine, his intelligence was indisputable but he never made me feel inferior, not that any man could, I wasn't dumb, I had just continued along the path that lead me away from my awful home life and hadn't yet left the first job that supported my independence. I knew though that Edward would ensure that I proceed with my goal of becoming a nurse, it was almost comical the way things were turning out, he would become a doctor and I would become a nurse, _Oh! The roll playing possibilities!_ I thought, and a smile spread across my face as I laid my head down on his lap.

Rose had left me a message saying that they were going to stay at Angela's house because they'd already had too much to drink, _I love alcohol, _I thought to myself realizing that Edward and I would then have the house all to ourselves, and we made good use of the rest of the night- on the lounge, in the kitchen, in the bathroom…finally breaking in the new day in my bedroom.


	19. Chapter 19: Nothing

19. Nothing

For the next week and a half we busied ourselves with arranging my move. Rose decided she would buy my car off of me and Alice and her pitched in to give me a few of thousand more to keep everything else I owned in the house. When I had originally moved out of home I had been on my own until the girls decided to move in, I'd already bought all of the essentials like white goods and had splurged on buying the massive flat screen T.V in the living room, we didn't watch it much but it was great for music and movies, the extra money would tie me over until I could find a new job and this meant I was still able to retain my independence, I loved Edward explicitly but I wasn't going to have him help me financially, not unless a more permanent arrangement was made. I hadn't really put much thought into things progressing to that level, I imagined the prospect of that would still be so far off, we were still very new, but I was certain about Edward and he had mentioned wanting to settle down and have a family at some stage, I knew it wouldn't be anywhere in the near future though, but as he'd said a few weeks ago, he now had me to consider, I remembered this vividly as this statement was the catalyst to our first argument, so I dismissed the thought altogether and decided we needed a break from organizing my departure.

We went out to Broadbeach again and ate lunch at the local surf club at Kurrawa; afterwards we went for a walk along the beach and came across a carving in the sand, it was a simple heart shape and I was instantly inspired.

"Hey, wanna do something crazy?" I said and squeezed his hand excitedly.

"What?" he said laughing at my enthusiasm.

"C'mon." I said and dragged him back up the sand and onto the street.

It was only a short ten-minute walk to where I was taking him and the whole way along Edward seemed thrilled that I was leading him into the unknown. I stopped us when we had reached our destination.

"Universal Ink?" he asked.

"Aha, are you game?"

"Ah, I don't know, what did you have in mind?" he eyed me suspiciously.

"Something very simple and very small, but for both of us." I explained.

"Alright, I trust you." he said and we walked in.

"Hi guys, welcome, what can we do for you today?"

Asked the man behind the front counter, he was covered in tats and they were all so well done, I'd heard good things about this place from Jake and the cleanliness and feel of it when we'd walked in confirmed it was a good choice.

"We'd like to get something small done, can I draw it though? I want it to be one of a kind." I asked.

"Sure, no problem." said the artist and he motioned for us to sit down and gave me a piece of sketch paper.

"I wanna go first." I said eagerly to Edward and he smiled.

"Ok." he said shaking his head in wonderment at my motivation for all of this.

"Can't argue with 'em when they say that hey." The artists joked with Edward.

"Especially not this one, she's the boss." Edward replied and looked at me with an apprehensive expression as the artist began to ink me.

"Oww, motherfu-" I started.

"Bella, careful." he playfully warned me, I wanted to say it in full just to spite him but we were too far from home. After a few minutes the artist was done and Edward looked down to see the finished product. It was a centimeter square sized outline of a heart, just like the one we'd seen on the beach and I had it done on the top of one of my fingers.

"I like it, it suits you." he said and I got up to let him sit down.

"Same finger?" The artist asked me.

"Yes, same finger." I said and the significance of it dawned on Edwards face.

"Bella." he whispered knowingly, I was placing a heart on top of his once broken pinkie finger.

"It may not have healed properly then baby but at least I can try and heal it now." I said. Edward gazed up at me, our devoted gaze communicating to one another that which words alone could not express and his eyes glazed over.

I knew that this was a dicey thing to be doing especially with regards to his state of mind at that time, his brother's had said they weren't certain about the whole repressed memory thing and I wondered at that moment when I looked at his emotions bubbling just underneath the surface if I had gone too far, I hoped I had not broken the thin barrier which was stopping the hurt and pain from consuming him. He would need to deal with it eventually.

I grabbed a tissue from the bench and wiped his eyes gently as the artist finished off.

"There you go man, you know we hear a lot of stories about the reasons why people get stuff done, from what I've just heard this simple gesture means the world to you both, I'm happy to have done this for you so I'm not going to charge you for it, love is free guys and you two are rich with it." said the artist and one of the lady artists had come over to listen and see what he'd done."

"Thank you, that's so kind and this does mean so much, you're good people." I said to him and then looked up at the lady, she was a young woman with similar images on her arms to the artist himself. I thought maybe she was his partner.

"He's such a big softie, you wouldn't expect that from someone who looks like him hey." The lady commented and put her hand on his shoulder.

"You don't fit the stereotype that's for sure, thank you again." I said and Edward shook the artists hand and we left.

We walked back down to where we'd parked the car at the surf club; Edward had become quite solemn after we'd left the shop and didn't speak much along the way other than to say that he never envisioned getting a tattoo, I'd never either I told him but we were both glad that we had. When we arrived back at the car he opened the drivers door for me and before I got in he spoke.

"Bella," he said and held up my face in his hands.

"I love you." he whispered.

"I love you too." I replied sincerely and gently he kissed me completely un-perplexed by the passers by, his sweet and passionate appreciation of my gesture make me dizzy and I was thankful I had the car at my back for support.

Just then we heard a series of camera clicks and we looked up, of the passers by, a young woman sporting a professional type camera had taken pictures of us, capturing a special moment in time that would have otherwise been just a memory.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I questioned her, moving out of Edward's embrace defensively, I was irritated that she had disturbed us with her intrusion.

"I'm sorry, please don't be angry with me, it was such a beautiful moment, I had to take it, I can delete them if you'd like or I can post you the pictures. said the girl. On any other day I would have stayed annoyed, I did want to smash the damn thing but the lure of having those moments to look back on was too tempting and I gave her my address. I didn't really think twice about it, my normal skeptical and cautious self clouded by the now need to have those pictures. I didn't realize that this was a mistake.

On the way home Edward's phone rang, I saw him look at it but he didn't answer it, he instead pressed the decline button and put back down on top of his leg. He must have been doing this been doing this on and off for a few days because it would only ring for a few seconds each time and then go silent, but this was only the first time I'd seen him actually do it.

"Who keeps ringing love?" I asked.

"I don't know, it's a blocked number." he replied.

"Well it's ticking you off, I hope who ever it is stops." I said.

"Yeah, me too." He sighed.

The girls were home when we got there and we showed them our new additions, Rose was amazed to hear it had been my idea and Alice was just as stunned. The rest of the afternoon went by uneventfully and we all just loafed around making the most of each others company knowing that at the end of the week I would be gone.

Mid-morning the next day I went to work to get my stuff and hand in my written resignation, I had verbally told Cheryl of my intentions over the phone the day I'd gotten back and she said she would count that in as the beginning of my notice, she was sad to see me going but I didn't elaborate on the reasons, the girls would be sure to fill her and everyone else in when they started back.

Edward decided to stay at the house and I told him I wouldn't be too long but that I would be going to the shops on the way home. The girls had left early that morning to go shopping in Brisbane and said they wouldn't be home until later that night, I was glad he'd decided to stay home because it meant he could spend some time alone which is something we all needed from time to time.

I was only gone for about two hours and as I drove into the driveway I noticed the garage door was already up, I figured I'd forgotten to lower it when I'd left and I turned off the engine and got out of the car. I called out to him but there was no reply. I gathered the two bags of shopping and walked through the garage and into the house.

"Edward." I called again just before I got through the doorway; still there was no answer. I entered the living room and it was like a bull had been set loose in there, my mind instantly telling me that we'd been robbed but when I looked around it didn't make any sense, the T.V was still there but was now smashed, the leather couch had been shredded, it was all quite beyond my comprehension, I quickly walked through the living room towards the kitchen stepping over all of our discarded stuff on the floor and called out to him again, this time louder, I was beginning to panic. When I got into the kitchen there was blood all over the floor, my eyes scanned the room and focused onto the kitchen bench and onto the chopping board. I felt like passing out when I saw it, on it was my large cleaver and Edward's pinkie finger.

It felt like I had been thrust into slow motion, I instantly dropped the bags I'd still been holding and ran through the house screaming his name as I looked into each room, when I couldn't find him I ran back through the house and out towards side door. I pushed open the sliding glass panel, which led out into the back yard, and out on the lawn I found him lying unconscious on the grass.

"EDWARD!" I cried and ran over to his motionless body, he was flat on his back, bloodied and beaten, I tried desperately and frantically to rouse him but he wouldn't respond. I checked if he was breathing and thankfully he was, I pulled my phone out of the back pocket of my jeans and called the ambulance, they instructed me to go back into the kitchen and put his finger into a container with ice, I did it quickly and put the container into the freezer, I ran back out to Edward to wait for them to arrive, I took off the blouse I was wearing over my singlet top and lifted his hand out of the pool of his blood and applied pressure to what was left of his finger, it was still bleeding quite badly and his lips were turning blue.

I heard the sirens blazing down the street towards the house, being a work day most of my neighbors weren't home but the one's that were all came outside to see what was happening. Two police cars had also arrived. The officers followed the paramedics through the wide side gate leading to the back yard where I was screaming for them to hurry, the paramedics quickly got to work assessing Edward's condition, one of them ran back to the ambulance to get the gurney while the other one checked his vitals and his hand, they asked me to go and get his finger and told tried to calm me down by telling me I had done a good job in keeping it in the freezer, they said there was a good chance it might be able to be reattached as I had acted quickly and that even though there was lots of blood it seemed as though it had been a very recent incident. _If only I hadn't gone to the shops_ I thought and began to shake. I had started to go into shock.

One of the police officers pulled over a chair from the outdoor setting for me to sit on, I sat down and she began asking me questions, couldn't find it in me to speak.

its ok, we can wait she said and stood aside.

Another ambulance arrived and two more paramedics entered the yard. The lady police officer called them over to me and they started to check me over too, they wrapped a blanket around me and checked my pulse. I couldn't take my eyes off of Edward and I started to cry harder than I had been already envisioning the worst, he looked so broken and although he was breathing I wondered if he would make it. I felt like I was dying too.

Edward had appeared to be stable up to that point but I watched in horror as the paramedics suddenly began performing CPR on him. He had stopped breathing and slowly was fading away. I stood up and tossed the blanket away frantically moving around not knowing what to do, there was nothing I could do, Edward's life hung in the balance and I couldn't do a damn thing to help him.

They ripped open his shirt exposing his torso which was covered in red bruises and I'd not noticed before, I'd been so focused on him and his hand but there was a two inch Tuscan pocket knife lodged into his right side below his ribs, the paramedic gently pulled it out of him and placed a thick piece of padding over the top, it started to slowly seep through and the beep of the defibrillator singled it was charged and ready for use, one of the other medics came over, applied the conductive gel and positioned the paddles on him, the other medic removed his hand from Edward's side...

_Once_...I was beyond distraught as I watched Edward's body slightly jolt in reaction to the current. they continued with the CPR forcing air into his lungs while also taping another thick piece of padding onto the wound. The ascending wine of the machine reached it's peak and it was again ready for use...

Twice...and again they applied the paddles to his chest...no response, they resumed CPR while the machine reset, painstakingly slowly it's pitch rose...

Three times- and then they stopped

My world spun, I felt myself falling to the ground and then there was nothing.


	20. Chapter 20: Sticks and stones and broken

**20. Sticks and stones and broken bones**

The ground underneath me was soft and warm, I'd remembered falling but this didn't feel right and I felt like I was in motion. I opened my eyes and saw that I was in one of the ambulances.

"Edward." I said and tried to sit up.

"He's been taken to hospital Miss Swan, try to calm down, you passed out and need to stay still for a while." explained the paramedic as he sat next to me checking the pulse oximeter on my finger.

"How is he?" I asked.

"I'll be honest with you, he's not in good shape, he'll be rushed straight into theatre when he arrives." he said.

I began to feel faint again and started to hyperventilate; the medic spoke to me firmly, but was kind and reassuring and placed a non re-breather mask over my face.

"Bella, as soon as we arrive the police are going to need to speak to you and you're going to have to be able to talk, purse your lips like you're blowing out a candle and try to self regulate your breaths, you'll be ok, you're just having a panic attack, it's very common with people coming out of shock."

I did as he instructed and within a few minutes I had calmed down and he removed the mask.

We arrived and I was allowed to walk out of the ambulance, I was ushered into one of the emergency cubicles but this one was not a public one, it was used for those who either posed a treat or were under guard or for those who needed to be interrogated. There was a bed but I did not sit or lay on it, I paced the floor and waited for the detectives to come in, I could see them speaking to the paramedic at the nurses station and they looked over at me as I looked out at them, the door had remained open and they left the medic and began to make their way over, a nurse followed them in and explained briefly to me that Edward had been taken into surgery but was listed as critical, she assured me that as soon as she heard anything she would let me know. I felt totally numb and didn't even notice when she'd left the room, it wasn't until the detectives started pulling chairs over towards me that I broke from my trance and realized that I'd been standing staring into space. I looked at the two officers and they began to speak.

"Bella Swan?"

I nodded, "Yes."

"Bella I'm detective Morgan, this is detective Ryan, we're sorry you've been through this ordeal."

"Thank you, have you found out anything yet?" I asked.

"We don't have much to go on yet, it's early days, forensics are at your house now so hopefully we'll get a lead there by tonight, we'll also run a prints check on the pocket knife that was used as well as the one in the kitchen, we'll check his clothes and in theatre they'll do a fingernail scrape but for now we need to know what you know. Firstly, I need to get some particulars about the vic- I mean about Edward, I'll need his full name, date of birth, home address and- next of kin." he said. "I realize this is a difficult time, but it's important we establish a base to our investigation.

"It's ok, I understand, the worst is just not knowing how he is right now." I said.

"I understand, just take your time, why don't you start with his name?" he said easing me into it.

"Ah, his name is Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, born Twentieth of June, 1990." I said flatly. "I have his address in my phone, hold on." I said and picked it out of my pocket. "654 E. Division St., Forks, Washington." I read out. His adoptive parents Carlisle and Esme and his two older brothers Emmett & Jasper all live at that address as well.

"He's a long way from home Bella, has he been staying with you long?" he asked and finally I sat down and they both did the same.

I began to explain to them how we met, what he was doing over here with me and what our plans were, it was difficult to speak of and the more I spoke the more upset I got, I couldn't endure the thought of not being able to follow through with our plans, the mere thought of Edward not making it through was- unbearable.

I told the officers what I knew of his past and the issue arising from his biological father coming up for parole and briefly about the psychological difficulties his family thought he might be starting to go through, they said that I had told them enough for the time being and that they would now begin to start putting together what they could from what I had said. They said they would make contact with the local authorities in Forks and Chicago and suggested I call his family as soon as possible. Detective Morgan gave me his card and told me, as the nurse had, as soon as they know anything they'd let me know and they left the room quickly.

I ached at the thought of what I was going to tell his mum. I took my phone out and called the number Edward had given me and sat nervously waiting for her to answer.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Mrs. Cullen, it's Bella." I said.

"Bella, I'm so glad you called, is everything alright? I've been trying to get a hold of Edward for days." she said and it dawned on me, Edward had been screening his calls and it was his mother who had kept calling. I remembered back to the first and only time I'd heard him swear back in Bali, he'd gotten cranky about his mum calling him so often. I began to feel even worse for her, she loved her son so much and I was about to tell her that she might lose him.

"Mrs. Cullen listen, Edward's…" I started but couldn't continue, I was crying and she heard me.

"Bella? Bella! What's wrong? What's happened?" she asked in a panic-stricken voice.

"Mrs. Cullen," I sobbed, "You need to get here as soon as you can, there's been an incident at my house today." I started to explain.

"Where is he? Is he all right?" she asked, the pitch of her voice rose in growing concern.

"No, he's not, he's in surgery now," I was beside myself "he was attacked and badly beaten, he's had his finger cut off" I wailed. The phone clunked as if it had been dropped and then I head a new voice.

"Bella, it's Emmett, what's going on? Mum's just passed out." Through my sobs I began trying to tell him briefly what had happened, I urged him to get everyone over here as soon as they could and not bother about packing anything. I told him the details of where we were. He said they would leave straight away and he hung up. I sat down and let myself be taken over by my emotions.

"Miss Swan?" said the nurse as she reentered the room, "you don't have to stay in here, come with me and I'll take you upstairs, to the waiting room."

I followed her upstairs; she grabbed a blanket and a pillow for me along the way and filled me in on what she knew.

"Initial assessments indicate that he's sustained multiple fractured ribs and what's known as an uncomplicated skull fracture, there doesn't seem to be any associated physical or neurological damage to the head or brain but a substantial amount of force had been used to caused it, his brain activity is normal so that's very good, the stab wound in his right side has stopped bleeding but the concern is whether or not any arteries have been cut and it's likely he'll have some internal bleeding from his broken ribs. His severed finger is actually the least of their concerns, thankfully it was a clean cut and who ever had put it on ice has certainly saved it, they're confident it won't be a problem to re-attach. He'd lost a lot of blood too which is why he'd gone into cardiac arrest, what blood type are you? she asked.

"B Negative." I said

"Well, we're going to need your help then." she said as she looked at his chart and commented that it was rare to find partners of the same blood type who could be of assistance in these situations.

"Anything, what ever you need." I said eagerly, pleased I would be able to help him in any way I could. She explained that it will be at least five to six hours until they'd be finished with him but that they should be able to enquire on his status in about two. She suggested that after they take some blood I try to get some rest but I instantly refused. She pointed out that they may need to take more later and that he's going to need me when he comes around, I nodded as we entered the blood collection room. I desperately wanted to fast forward to the next day when hopefully he would open his eyes and know I was there, for the mean time I was glad to have been able to help him in this small way, soon my blood would be coursing through his body helping to heal him, bringing him back to me where he belonged.

The phlebotomist positioned a shunt into my arm so that they could draw more out later and after they had collected what they could I went around to the waiting room. My heart longed for him, to see his smiling face, to touch his thick bronzed hair and to nurture him with my kiss, I sat down and closed my eyes and kept the vision of him in the forefront of my mind for as long as I could before I couldn't help it anymore and I fell asleep.

When I woke up the light in the room had been dimmed and it took me a few seconds before I remembered where I was. I panicked and sat bolt upright looking at my watch; I'd only been asleep for just over two hours. I went out to the desk and the nurse came around to meet me.

"Any word yet?" I asked.

"Yes, he's doing ok, I was just coming in to wake you, they've requested we get more blood." she said and I followed her towards the collections room again.

"Hopefully this will be enough, there's not a lot more we can take from you, we took just under half a litre last time, we'll take half of that again now." She said.

"I'm ok, take what's needed." I said.

"We'll take what we can but then you're going to have to eat and rest, you're going to start to feel quite weak soon." she said and hooked up the line to a bag which hung low on a pole to my right.

Afterwards I returned to the waiting room and called Rose. I'd totally forgotten about them until that point,

they'd said that morning that they'd be coming back from Brisbane late and I needed to tell them they'd have to make arrangements to stay somewhere else for a few nights as the house was a crime scene. Rose was shocked as I summarized the days events, she and Alice were on the train only a few stops shy of the station where Alice had left her car that morning, they said they would find somewhere to stay but would come to the hospital straight away. I told Rose not to worry about coming that night because I didn't know where I would be at any given time, she understood and said that they'd see me in the morning, I said goodbye and ended the call.

For the next few hours I drifted in and out of sleep but woke each time with growing anxiousness. I was pulled from my shallow slumber when I heard a tap on the door.

"He's out." Said the nurse as she stepped into the room. I instantly got up and followed her out and down the hall in the direction of the ICU. She led me through the doors and the beeps of the patients' machines sounded so loud as we walked through the quiet room. I glanced around me and found that it wasn't crowded but those that were in here needed to be. The nurse stopped at a cubical half way through the room, it's curtains were drawn on the sides separating one area from the next but leaving access to it at the foot of the bed. I stood at the entrance and froze. I looked at the body lying in the bed in front of me, I knew it was Edward but he was almost unrecognizable, I slowly stepped up to the side of his bed and looked over to the nurse who was checking and adjusting his drip. I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle the sobs I was unable to control. She came over to me and took my hand; she placed it gently on top of his, my expression telling her I was frightened to touch him on my own.

"He's heavily sedated honey, you won't hurt him." she said kindly. I gingerly placed my fingers around his hand and it was warm but non-responsive. It felt like the first time he had touched me on my shoulder on the night we'd gone swimming and even though he was not conscious with me; that indescribable energy that flowed between us was still there. It broke my heart to see him like this and I stood there staring at his face. It was still the most beautiful face on a man I'd ever seen, I saw through the bruises and the swelling, thankful that my Edward was still alive. I'd loved him before and I loved him still.

"Miss Swan?" I heard my name and looked up. "I'm doctor Chang, I'm one of the surgeons." he said introducing himself to me.

"Hello doctor, will he be ok?" I asked.

"He's doing well but we'll keep him in the ICU for the time being, it was major surgery but everything went well and we're confident that over the next few months he will regain movement in his finger again, it wouldn't have all gone so well if you two didn't share the same blood type though; he is a very lucky man." he said and I felt slightly buoyant again. He continued to explain Edward's condition and what they'd had to do. I stood there holding his hand and listened attentively.

"The right side of his head, is badly bruised and fortunately there was no fracture as first thought, we were also able to operatively stabilize one of his five broken ribs using absorbable fixation plates, the others will heal on their own but the biggest complication we came across was with that rib as it had punctured a lung so it took time to stop the bleeding, stitch and re-inflate the lung. All in all though it was a success and he should recover quite quickly if there are no complications, the next twenty-four hours or less will tell us if we have anything further to worry about." he concluded.

"Thank you doctor." I said with gratitude.

"You're welcome, I'll be around each day to see how he's doing." he said and as he walked away I nodded.

I must have stood there at his side for almost an hour visually assessing him and looking him over, I was still holding his hand when the nurse came over and saw that I had not moved.

"You need to sit down before you fall down." she said and touched my arm. Although I didn't want to I let go of his hand and sat down on the chair next to him. I couldn't see his face properly from this position and the distance was painful but the nurse was right, I did need to sit down, I moved the chair over closer and held his hand again, I rested my head on the side of the bed, closed my eyes drifted off. The rest of that night and most of the next day were uneventful, Edward's condition had not changed and that evening they decided that they would discharge him from the ICU and into a ward.


	21. Chapter 21: Revelation

**21. Revelation**

I followed the bed to the ward where Edward would spend the next five days healing and recovering. It was close to 8pm and Alice and Rose who had been there with me for most of the day were almost about to leave, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and stepped away from the bed to answer it.

"Bella, it's Emmett, we've just arrived." he said and he sounded tired.

"Ok, I'll send Alice and Rose down to meet you at the entrance, they can bring you up." I said.

"They're here, I bent down and kissed Edward's hand, do you guys mind going down to bring them up, I'm not leaving him." I said and looked at Edward.

"Sure, no problem." said Alice and they left the room.

About ten minutes went by and then I saw them round the corner. The four closest people in Edward's life were now here and I stood watching them as they approached the room. As soon as his mother saw me standing beside his bed she realized who I was and wrapped her arms around me tightly and began to cry. His father walked around to the other side of the bed and placed his hand on his son's shoulders. He looked up at me as his emotions poured out of him the same way as his wife. Jasper was almost as free with showing his feelings as Edward was and he cried on Alice's shoulder as she held him, Emmett wasn't as open with his and he stood with a blank expression. Rose went to stand beside him; she looked up at him as he threw his arms around her, succumbing to the sadness.

"Alice, Rose, let's give them a few minutes." I said thinking it was the right thing to do.

"We should be going any way Bella." said Alice and Jasper gave her a quick kiss, Emmett touched Rose's face and I began walking out with the girls. This was a family moment and we were not apart of that.

"No, Bella, stay." said his mother "he needs you here, we need you here." she said, the girls left and I walked back over and stood beside her to take Edward's hand again.

Once the initial shock of seeing their son in the condition he was in had worn off, Esme, his mother, asked me if the police had said anything yet. I told her I hadn't heard from them yet but that I would call again in the morning and when morning came I made that call and spoke to Detective Morgan.

"Miss Swan, it's good you called, I'm just on my way over to the hospital and I have lots of information. Has his family arrived yet?" he asked.

"Yes, they're here." I said "

"Excellent, hopefully we'll be able to confirm what we think we know about the attack. I'll be there soon." He said.

"What did they say?" asked Carlisle and I told them the detective was on his way.

We had to leave Edward's room and sat in an office set aside for grief counseling. We all sat down and he began to speak.

"We've been able to lift three prints from the knives in the kitchen and the one he was stabbed with, it showed that two people had attached him and we were able to apprehend them late last night. They are both members of a well-known motorcycle gang here on the coast called the Finks that have strong ties to the U.S chapter of the motorcycle gang called the Mongols. They're based in California but are affiliated across 6 states, including Illinois; Edward's biological father James was a full patch member of it before being arrested." He revealed, "It doesn't take much to motivate these thugs when they are on their own and they're almost always wanted for something, we offered to waive convictions to a lot of their minor offences if they told us who orchestrated the attack and why, luckily one of them was a talker; he confessed that the order had come from the Mongols and that it was something to do with a favor owed to James by one of their high ranking members, they said this guy who was their treasurer had at one time been a fellow inmate with him. Apparently, in exchange for carrying out the attack on Edward, James had taken the wrap for a bashing the treasurer had inflicted upon another inmate. I've come here mainly to follow up on something one of them had mentioned about Edward's biological Mother. What can you tell me about her?" asked Detective Morgan. Up to that point I'd not thought about the presence or absence of Edward's biological mother, she was never mentioned and I'd never thought to ask.

"All we were told about her was that she had abandoned him and his father shortly before he was first placed into our care." replied Esme with a stunned expression. "it was like she just disappeared."

"That's because she did Mrs. Cullen, one of the suspects said that from what he was told, the main reason behind all of this was that James had actually murdered his wife and didn't want anything to stand in his way from being granted parole, our suspect stated that he's been worried that Edward may be starting to recall the event as he's gotten older, meaning that if it's revealed he'd never get out." explained the detective. Carlisle and Esme looked at each other in utter disbelief. "They're re-opening the investigation on her disappearance and I believe they are also going to start searching the property again for evidence of her murder, if he did do it he'd been very clever about it, the Mongols undoubtedly assisted in the cover up." he said.

Carlisle went on to explain about how they'd noticed changes in Edward's behavior over the last year, that they think he is remembering things and that they were going to tell him that James was going to be realized from prison.

"When we got word from the sheriff in Forks that James was coming up for parole we decided, based on the abuse that Edward had endured as a child, that we were going to let him know, if he is remembering things we wanted to make him prepared just in case he ever came to look for him, we had no idea things ran deeper for him than that." explained Esme. "as if what he'd gone through back then wasn't enough, to think he may have been witness to his mother's murder is beyond heartbreaking, I can't stand the thought of Edward having to re-live any of it." she said as Jasper put his hands on his mother's shoulder in a gesture of comfort, she reached behind to touch it. Watching this family going through this was a humbling experience and for a second I wished that I had a mother like Esme, and a father at all.

"I understand that James had been making threats to you from prison over the years while you still lived in Chicago." said the detective.

"Yes, we use to receive awful letters but they weren't posted by him, he must have had someone on the outside write them, they would never have passed the mail screenings with what was written in them." explained Carlisle.

"I've spoken to the Chicago authorities and they were able to scan me copies of them, they do indeed indicate that his intentions were to get out and 'finish the job' as he'd put It." he revealed. "did it ever make sense to you why he would have said that?" asked the detective.

"We've never put much thought into to be honest, we never understood what he meant by it and we tried to distance ourselves as far away from it as possible. We were told that most of the time when inmates make threats like that it's as a direct result to just being locked up where the only thing keeping them going is the thought that they can influence the outside." Carlisle explained.

"Yeah, that is true, emotions are heightened and even the smallest issues seem large when you're locked in a cell for eighteen hours a day, we've seen these things happen time and time again so it was easy for us to put two and two together." said the detective.

"When we just couldn't take it any longer we were advised to move so we did, and for the last few years at least we've been able to live normal lives, before that it had been twelve years of torment but we never ever told Edward about it, we had always hoped that he would never start to remember, some people don't and he seemed to have adjusted so well growing up, he was always such a inquisitive child though and we'd thought that by just telling him what he needed to know that it would satisfy his curiosity on the subject and up to now it's been enough, if he is starting to recall any of it then we have no choice but to let him know that it is true, otherwise he'll wonder and won't be able to move on." explained Esme.

"You were right to keep things from him Mr. & Mrs. Cullen, if you had reasons to believe he didn't remember the physical and sexual abuse then there would be no reason to bring it up, anyone would have done exactly the same thing, I'm sorry to hear that he may been dealing with more, if he did indeed witness his mothers murder we're going to need him to recall it, without any other evidence that James did it Edward is the only one who can ensure that he's convicted, otherwise he will be released and with his connections, I'd hate to think what would happen if he is let out. I'm beginning to think that Edward was not meant to have lived through this." explained the detective. I stood up from my seat unable to sit still from his last statement, I ran outside and down the hall. I felt like I was going to be sick and needed to get some air.


	22. Chapter 22: Moving forward

**22. Moving forward**

I stood outside the front entrance of the hospital wallowing in despair and wrapped my arms around myself in the dark, it was all I could do to stop my self from falling apart and I wished my arms were someone else's. The doors behind me opened and I looked towards them, Esme had come out to meet me.

"Bella, come here honey." she said as she opened her arms, I melted into her embrace and she rubbed her hand on my back to soothe me. "he's so fortunate to have met you, we're all so grateful he's finally found someone, we were beginning to wonder if he ever would, it's timely too, just proves everything happens for a reason." she said, and there it was again, my own mantra, my vision and reasoning to everything that has occurred in my life, his mother had said it with such conviction that I knew it to be true.

We walked over and sat on a bench and began talking about how Edward and I met and about the girls, she mentioned that it had not gone unnoticed that her other sons had obvious feelings for them and she said that it was convenient we all knew each other, I agreed and began elaborating on my friendship to them which turned into a discussion about my past and my relationship with my own mother, she was saddened to hear that it was a strained one and said something I wasn't prepared for.

"Carlisle and I already think of you as family, what you have done for our son in just the past few weeks is something we can never repay, if you ever need some motherly advice come and talk to me because I think you're stuck with us now." she said affectionately as she reached over to hold my hand, "he's not going to let you go now, you do realize that don't you?" she said meaningfully with a hint of humor.

"I'm beginning to get that feeling." I replied in the same lighthearted manner. "Mrs. Cullen-" I started,

"Esme." she corrected.

"Esme, I know what Edward and I have seems- unbelievable, the speed in which we became attached was unexpected to both of us and I'm in love deeply with him, I know I'm never going to be able to let him go either." I confessed and she pulled me in for a hug.

"True love! Ha! Who knew it really did exist!" she exclaimed softly, and we both chucked, "I knew it would always be this way for him though, he never went out with many girls and when he did he never chose them himself, the boys would always set him up and being the gentleman he is he never stood them up, after a while they stopped playing match-maker and let him follow his own path, which by the way was always a studious one, he's so smart and head-strong and stubborn! I know you're already clued in on that aspect of him." she said.

"That I am, he's a very rare individual." I said humorously.

"However, don't let his kind-heartedness fool you, he can be a devil sometimes and he has a temper to match, we've only seen him lose it a few times, only ever with the boys and it was always just noise, I guess it's healthy to get it out of your system every now and then, especially for him, he's always so nice." She said as she stood up. "He's going to be ok honey, he will get through what needs to be done and he will do it knowing that he's loved and protected. He told me, that he loves you, he told me and I could tell it was true just by the sound of his voice." she said as she reached out for my hand to pull me up, I smiled at her thanked her for letting me know.

We began walking back though the entrance and into the elevator to go back to the room. She'd spoken of her son with such reverence and I felt glad that he had her in his life, I resolved to always make sure that he never excluded her again, this woman who had always poured her heart and soul into being the mother he deserved, with me now in the picture I had a good feeling as though in time she'd learn to let the rope go and it was heartwarming to hear of her speak of the future, her optimism with relation to a future between Edward and I was exactly what I needed to pull me out of the pit of despair I had been plunged into, the thought of Edward having to recall more that the worst things any child or man should have to was killing me but knowing that if he didn't- it might actually kill him.

When we got back up the his room, Carlisle and the boys spoke with Esme and they decided that she would stay with me while the others left for the hotel, we said good-bye and they left. Esme and I sat on each side of his bed, Esme pulled out a book to read while I pulled out my phone to do some research on hypnosis therapy, after a while though it depressed me and I sat back into my chair and tried to get some sleep.

During the early hours of the next morning I woke up and stood next to the bed gently stroking his hair. One of the nurses came in which woke Esme up, she sat watching me as the nurse informed us she was going to start to reduce his moderate sedation and that he should start to become alert very soon. I spoke to him softly as the nurse continued to do what she had to do with his machines, even though he was still unable to reply I knew that I wanted my voice to be the first one he heard when he eventually woke up.

"Good morning, I'm still here baby, I hope you wake up soon, I miss you." The nurse smiled at me, "Keep talking to him, he should be able to hear you." I continued to prattle on about non-important things as I held onto his hand and rubbed his knuckles with my thumb, Esme had come up to stand on his other side and we watched in anticipation of any movement which would indicate that he was back with us.

It began like a soft breeze, his fingers gently twitching in my hand, I let the movement continue not wanting to strangle his efforts by reacting to it, they moved a little more and then as I felt his hand take mine he opened up his beautiful eyes and set them upon me. My heart was on fire, I stared cautiously down at him as his face took on a confused expression, he was barely able to open his right eye but I could still see the bright butterscotch color of it underneath his bruised and swollen eyelid gazing loving up at me.

"Where am I?" he asked strained and it was the most bittersweet sound in the world.

"It's alright, you're in hospital, you're going to be ok now baby, I'm here." I said reassuring him.

"You're still here? I thought I'd lost you, I couldn't find you in the dark, I thought…" he trailed off and closed his eyes gripping my hand as hard as he could, he re-opened his eyes and turned his head. "Mom?" he asked.

"Yes, it's me, I'm here, we've missed you." she told him and she looked up at me and smiled.

"What happened?" he asked and Esme and I began to explain to him what had happened.

"I don't remember any of it." he spoke and was a little less groggy than he'd been half an hour before. He raised his right hand and I lowered myself so he could stroke my face and as always when he did this I melted into his touch and closed my eyes. He moved his thumb under my eyes wiping away my tears.

"You look exhausted princess, I'm awake now, I'm ok, I want you to go get some sleep." he said seriously and then pulled me down gently closer to him and whispered into my ear, "I love you and soon I'm going to need you- but you can't help me if you're tired" he purred.

"Really Edward? You're awake for thirty minutes and you're hitting on me? I laughed, "what am I going to do with you?" I whispered back into his ear.

"I'm injured, I'm not dead." he managed to joke. "I've told you before, you do things to me I can't explain."

"Yeah but you can't move, doofus" I joked and shook my head at his playfulness.

"I know- but you can." he said and winced when he tried to wink at me.

"Hey, relax tiger, don't strain yourself," I cooed him gently patting his head, he tried to chuckle but I could tell it hurt. Esme stood not knowing what had been said but smiled at being able to see her son happy and smiling after the whole ordeal.

Initially, when I refused to go he insisted telling me that he was going to need to talk to his mum and that when I come back he had something serious he wanted to discuss with me. I heard Esme talking on her phone to Carlisle and she was telling them to hurry back to the hospital, she then called Detective Morgan and told him that Edward was awake; he would soon join them to begin reviewing the situation. I found it hard to argue with his reasoning and called for Alice to come and pick me up. I leant down and kissed his forehead. "Ok, I'll go but only for a few hours, I do love it when you're needy but I think for now we need to take things slow, I'll see you soon." I said softly to him and waved to Esme as I left the room.

It was a very difficult ride home when Alice came to take me back to their hotel, Edward had not long woken up and all I wanted to do was to be with him, I knew he was only telling me to get some rest for my own good and I also knew he had to talk to his family, I wondered how he would react knowing what they were going to be telling him, I knew that it was going to be hard for him to hear but it was the only way for him to start moving forward and the longer the delay the harder it would be, I hung on the knowledge that when I came back he had something the wanted to tell me and when I got into Alice's bed, I fell straight to sleep without hesitation. I pictured him vibrant and mobile, as he was when we walked along the beach, loving and caring as he looked at me the way he would then urgent and needing as he looked down at me from above, his multi-faceted personality changing rapidly in my dreams, my Edward was alive and he still loved me.


	23. Chapter 23: Epiphany

**23. Epiphany**

I got back to the hospital later that day after having a good seven hours of sleep and when I got to his room he wasn't there.

"Hey guys, how you going? Where here is he?" I asked Emmett and Jasper as I entered his room.

"Hey Bella, did you have a good rest?" asked Jasper, Emmett nodded.

"Yeah I did, thanks." I said.

"He's down in the rehab unit with mom and dad." Emmett said and looked tired.

"Geese, they didn't muck around getting him up and about. Did you guys get to speak to him with Detective Morgan?" I asked.

"Yeah, we did, it didn't take as long for him to understand as we'd though it would, he surprised us, with everything that was told to him it was as if he'd already dealt with it and has moved on." said Emmett with a confounded expression. "the detective took him into the room we were in the other day, just the two of them, apparently he was able to recall heaps of things whilst being recorded including what he could remember of his mothers murder without any help or prompting from anyone."

"So he already knew? Had he been hiding it from you all?" I asked.

"He said he thought he knew something and had been having flashbacks for years, when detective Morgan mentioned his mother he knew that what he'd been recalling was the truth, he spoke without emotion saying that he just wanted it all to be done with so he could be free to- Never mind." said Jasper as Emmett made a fake coughing noise, he'd stopped as if he'd said too much. I just ignored it.

"Weirdo's." I said and looked at them both, they smiled I chuckled. "Ok, so what happens now? Are they going to lay charges on James?" I asked as I sat down next to him.

"Yeah it sounds like it, detective Morgan said the evidence he'd gotten from Edward today as well as everything else they now have should be enough to land the conviction on him, he said he'd let us know when it happens, the detective has also lodged an AVO against the Finks and the Seattle and Chicago authorities will lodge the equivalent for us with the Mongols back home, Mom and dad mentioned that we're going to sell and move up to our other home Alaska, the detective said that he will organize somewhere for you both to stay here on the coast for the next few weeks while Edward recovers because he can't fly just yet, you's may be able to leave earlier it all depends on how fast his ribs heal and if his finger has rejection issues. That's about all really; all of the stress and worry about Edward falling to bits over everything wasn't needed and now he's in rehab trying to play Superman, dude was in so much pain when he first got up, mom was glad you weren't here, it meant that she was able to help him, she really likes you Bella but she's a bit envious that you get to do everything now, not in a bad way though, she just can't help herself when it comes to him." he said.

"Do you guys ever get jealous that she does more for him than you's" I asked.

"Fuck no! it drives him insane, I certainly don't want that, he can have it." Said Emmett and we all laughed, it was so easy talking to the boys, they felt like real brothers and made me feel like I was truly part of the fold.

"That's- Amazing, I'm stunned, so he's-Ok, really, or do you think he's trying to be strong?" I asked.

"No I think he's actually ok, he has you Bella, you're the miracle cure." said Jasper.

"C'mon, be serious, I'm- nothing." I said.

"No, you're everything, without you, he'd have nothing to live for, those were his words not mine, we quizzed him about his calmness too, I didn't believe him, I think he's hiding something but either way he's friggin nuts about you." he laughed.

"Well, I'm speechless, if I can do that for him, then that's wonderful, guys." I said.

"So you gonna stick around? He can be pretty possessive. explained Emmett.

"Well, he doesn't own me but I am his, I'm not going anywhere, your mum actually said something similar to me last night, you guys are as stuck with me as I am with you, come to think of it, I think I've gotten the raw end of the deal, you suck, I'm awesome" I joked and Emmett jumped up off of his chair and stood in front of me bouncing around on his toes as if he was in a boxing ring, I stood up and was dwarfed by him.

"Shit, so that means we have to put up with you forever, that sucks?" he said as he looked down at me jokingly.

"Well I don't know about 'forever', but and I can lay the smackdown when needed so you'd better watch yourself!" I said knowing there wasn't ever a hope in hell of that ever happening.

"Then bring it, give it your best shot, Isabella, show me how hard you can punch." He said beckoning me with his fingers as he lifted up both his hands and faced his palms out towards me. I made a tight fist with my right hand and took my aim at his left.

"Mother Fuc-…" I started to exclaim but was caught.

"Bella! Language." said Edward as he re-entered the room, his eyes burned into me and I thought maybe he was Superman using his lasers, he stood at the door way steadying himself while his mother fussed with his bed. I flushed with embarrassment, which was not something I often did while Emmett and Jasper stood behind me cracking up.

"That's gonna cost you." he said grinning as he let go of the doorframe and made he way over to his bed. I walked over to him as he eased himself down, he was in obvious pain and it was the first time I'd seen him upright and mobile. I stood in front of him and his mother called over to the boys suggesting they should go and get some lunch, I mouthed a 'thank you' at her for knowing we wanted to have some privacy and she mouthed a 'you're welcome' back and closed the door on her way out.

He widened his legs slightly allowing me to slip in between and he immediately wrapped his arms around my waist whilst I cradled his head against my shoulder. Our intimate times aside, holding him like this, being able to feel him in my arms was one of the most treasured feelings I'd ever experienced, his hug was firm and I assumed that he was just making up for the three days he'd not been able to hold me, soaking up the sensation of being together and never wanting to let go, I guessed this as this was everything I was feeling.

After a few minutes he lifted his head off of my shoulder to look at me, by standing it meant that I was just the right height to be able to look back at him without having to look up. I held his head in my hands and ran my thumb gently over the cut on his lip, his eyes never leaving my face.

"Kiss me." he said sensing my apprehension, I didn't want to hurt him and he knew me well enough to know that I would do anything he asked even if it was against my better judgment. I wanted it to be gentle and slow but as soon as our lips connected it became evident that restraint was not a possibility. Although I was thoroughly enjoying it I began to feel that there was more to this kiss than just the need to be as close to each other as possible. Edward's movements became stronger and I began tasting blood. I tried to pull away knowing that his lip has split again but he held me to him. I tilted my head back swiftly and he let go, his lip bled and he looked at me shocked by his actions.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." he whispered as he looked at me scared that he'd frightened me.

"It's ok." I replied caringly as I grabbed a tissue from beside his bed. I dabbed his lip and he closed his eyes.

"I'm just so sorry for everything." he said again and I felt that this was the beginning of something that he desperately needed to get out. I knew he'd not done anything to me but I prompted him anyway hoping that whatever he was apologizing for would lead him to open up more about the emotions he had, or as it was, didn't have about what he'd been told about his mother.

"What are you sorry for" I asked cautiously.

"I'm sorry that you have to be here, I'm sorry that you have to look after me now like I'm a child and I'm sorry that I can't be the man you need me to be. I know enough about you to know that you need me to be independent like you are and all my life I've been this pampered, pitied boy who was abused and now I find out that it's true, that what I've been feeling and picturing in my head actually happened and that I watched my mother being murdered and didn't do anything to stop it." he said, his strong façade crumbling.

"Edward don't do this to yourself, you can apologize for all those other things if you want but not for that, not for your mother, there was nothing you could have done, you were a tiny five year old boy pegged up against a grown man, a man who should have protected you and loved you, not beaten and abused you, I will not let you apologize for that." I said firmly. "plus, I don't have to be here, I want to be here, and no-one pity's you." He nodded his head in acknowledgement of what I had said and began to explain what he'd remembered.

"I'd spilt mom's red nail polish onto the carpet while I was trying to paint my little finger, I use to watch her while she'd paint her own and was just trying to copy what she use to do. I didn't mean it, it was an accident." He said pleadingly just like he would have done to his father at the time.

"Baby come here, it's ok, I won't let any one hurt you again." I said and held his face up to look at me. I leant in and kissed him again this time making sure that it was gentle and controlled and it was significant. When I broke the kiss he lifted his left hand.

"He broke my finger and when I screamed I saw mom come into the room and he started yelling at her, I remember seeing him punch her in the face and she fell onto her dresser, her lovely brown hair covered her face and when she got up again she tried to get to me but he held her up against the wall and began punching her over and over again until she just dropped and her body landed next to me, dad left the room and I remember he didn't come back for a long time, I was screaming for her to wake up but she never did. When he did come back he picked me up and threw me up against the far wall of the room. I don't remember anything beyond that other than I never saw him or my mother again. I remember that I loved her and that whenever she could she would always try to protect me, she always had a bruise on her probably due to those efforts. I can't help but feel responsible." he explained and although it must have been difficult for him to say it out aloud I was grateful he had because he needed to start to grieve for her and he needed to express his feelings about it and not continue to bottle it up inside like he had been, the boys had said that he'd been calm and that they thought he'd gotten past it, how wrong they were.

I wondered, if we'd never had that kiss, that strong and forceful catalyst, how long would it have taken for him to get to that point, he actually thought that he was to blame. He'd already disclosed all of this to Detective Morgan as a necessity but for him to have just described the worst part of his life to me and not his family as a choice meant that I was the only one he felt could mend his broken heart and soul and I promised myself that from that moment on I would devote myself to doing just that.

I motioned out of our embrace and made him look at me, my deep penetrating glare holding his attention as we stared deep into each other's eyes. He'd opened up his fragile heart to me in a way that I didn't think was possible, paving the way for his beautiful tortured soul to begin to heal and my own heart and soul overflowed with love for this man. As the seconds past I realized I was having an epiphany and suddenly it all became very clear, I knew in that instant what I wanted to do next and was certain that it was not just an impulsive reaction to my profound emotions, I gently ran my hand down his face and spoke with certainty and without hesitation.

"Marry Me, Edward." I whispered and a shallow gasp escaped his still bleeding lips.


	24. Epilogue: Goodbye to the past

**EPILOGUE: Goodbye to the past**

"You beat me to it." Edward said as he smiled elatedly, his eyes glowing with joy. "I did have this" he continued as he opened up the top draw of his side table. He pulled out a small black velvet box and proceeded to open it. Nestled in the silk holder was a stunning platinum and gold diamond solitaire engagement ring. My heart sang as I too gasped.

"The first time I'd laid eyes on you on the balcony in Bali I knew I loved you and even before you spoke somehow I knew I would spend the rest of my life with you, when I woke up this morning unable to recall what had happened all I could think of was that I'd nearly lost you, I thought I had died and I never want to feel as though I've lost you ever again. I had mom go and pick it out when you left earlier this morning, remember, I said I had something serious I wanted to discuss with you, I was planning to ask you tonight but as I said, you beat me to it." he explained. He lifted the ring out of the box and held up my left hand. "I know this is backward, but my answer is yes. There's nothing I need more than you, I'm never going to want anyone other than you, I love you with all of the heart and soul I have and I know that in time as they heal I'll only be able to love you more. You've saved me from death and you've saved me from having to live out the rest of my life in pain, no measure of time with you will be long enough and I would be honored to call myself your husband." he answered and I was overcome. He slipped the ring onto my finger and it was a perfect fit, I lifted it up and it sparked brightly in the fluorescents of the room. I had thought that the last piece of our puzzle had been placed but in my mind I'd not seen that there was one more- and this was it.

"I love you." I simply said.

Standing up carefully, he leant down and kissed me with all of the strength and power a kiss like this warranted and this time I didn't have the will to object. It was powerful and emotional and beautiful and when it ended I couldn't help but look forward to the next few weeks when hopefully by then we would be able to follow through with more and the thought of it made my heart thump harder than it already was. This man, my man, was my first and he would now be my last and I was over joyed with the knowledge that we would soon be joined as one.

The following four days were pretty brutal on Edward as the doctors in their wisdom explained that early rehabilitation was the key to a speedy recovery and on the fifth day he was discharged. Detective Morgan had informed us that James had been officially charged with the murder of Edward's mother and that he would not have to attend to anything further with regards to this, this was such a relief as he had already been through so much as it was likely that he would still be suffering greatly for some time. The detective had also told us that he had organized for us to stay in an apartment in Broadbeach under temporary witness protection but this only covered us for two weeks, we had mentioned that we enjoyed spending time there in that area of the coast and his doctors agreed that as he was healing fast and should be able to travel straight after this time, we made our preparations to fly back to Forks a day earlier than our protection covered us. The girls had found a house mate and I decided not to take any additional money for the household items as reimbursement of the coasts they incurred in having to have the place professionally cleaned after the incident.

Edward's family had left to go back home shortly after he was discharged and Carlisle had told Edward that he had contacted the University and had organized for his studies to be deferred for six months, this worked out very well because we had also made inquiries into me starting my studies to come a Registered nurse and it meant that we would be almost starting at the same time.

Our last day arrived and I woke up early wanting to get a head start and making sure that we had everything in order to leave. Each day that had gone by since Edward had left the hospital was better than the last with regards to his mobility and on that last day he decided he would test the boundaries of his abilities.

"Good morning princess." he said as he rolled over to face me.

"Morning baby, how do you feel?" I asked as I did ever morning when we woke.

"I feel…" he trailed and then his familiar cheeky grin appeared, "No, why don't you feel" he said seductively and he gently grabbed my hand that was under the sheet and placed it on his chest. He began moving it downwards along the length of his body and he was warm, the smoothness of his skin made the trek down south that much more delightful. We'd not made love since before the incident and I knew that this would be one of the most breathtaking encounters we would share together. He leaned in and acquired my lips as he placed my hand onto him, when he didn't let go my heart thumped harder than it already was, he began aiding me with his hand and it was such a turn on, I thought I had been set to max already but this was something else entirely and when he had set the pace he let go and found me and my needing was evident. We provoked our senses almost to the point of no return, Edward's increasing ability to move meant that he could act on his desperate need, and he did. He hovered over me and I opened my legs to him, he reached down and positioned himself at my entrance and submitted himself ever so slowly. He was deliberate in his movements, wanting to savor the feeling and make it last for as long as he could and I was in thankful awe of his restraint, his actions steadily became more pronounced and his arms tensed as they held his body up providing the leverage he needed to reach his end. He stilled and regressed then plunged in one last time. The last motion throwing me over the edge and out of my mind. He leant down and kissed me and gently rolled back onto his side. I could tell he had started to struggle towards the end but his adrenaline had kept him going.

When we were seated onto the aircraft I didn't feel the loss I thought I might feel about leaving, as the plane taxied down the runway Edward took a hold of my hand and kissed me. When we finally became airborne I said a silent goodbye to my past and said hello to my future.


End file.
